Looker is Overlooked

Although best known today as the creator of “E.R.” and the author of “Jurassic Park,” Michael Crichton was also an overlooked sci-fi auteur whose films included the classic original “Westworld,” the chilling “Coma,” and the Tom Selleck-Gene Simmons cult film “Runaway.” His most overlooked film, however, is the ahead-of-it’s-time “Looker” from 1981 starring Albert Finney as a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon whose clients are dropping off like flies. All of the models who are dying work for sinister James Coburn and have recently had very minor surgery done to make them “perfect.” Together with Susan Dey, who is working for Coburn and wants to know what’s going on, Finney uncovers a plot to take real models, kill them, and turn them into computerized images. These images will then be used in the worst advertisements ever, both political and for products, and will turn the audience into virtual zombies. Only Finney can stop the madness, by killing the people responsible in scenes that resemble “They Live” and “Videodrome.” If that’s not cool enough already, there’s nudity and an awesome ray gun that zaps you out of consciousness so you’re one step closer to being a victim of computerization.


This film has both a relatively believable and very scary plot along with a ton of action. Director Chrichton correctly guessed that computers would be taking over for actors on the future, and that audiences would be seduced into watching terrible advertisements. He also guessed correctly about plastic surgery becoming popular. This film becomes one of the best 1980’s sci-fi films because it is plausible, scary, sexy, and fun. Available in a widescreen DVD with the trailer and commentary by Crichton, this film is not to be missed by any serious sci-fi fan!

Storm Over Warlock Coulda Been Better

This book, Storm Over Warlock, is from back in the day, in the 70’s. It had a female sci-fi fantasy author named Andre Norton. My Kajukenbo teacher from back in the day was stoked to hear I was digging her book, since he thought her books had been lost in time. Just from a glance at the title and the cover, I was pretty sure this book would rule.

The bright side of reading this was that it was a quick read at 200 pages and pocket lunch book size. It definitely kept me turning the pages. The best thing is that there really are no good guys, just a bunch of aggressive alien surveyors and locals. Think of the Dark Crystal crossed with Conan the Barbarian and Aliens and you start tio get the picture. Very heavy on the fantasy, with little in the way of hard sci-fi, this book certainly takes your mind off of things. Maybe you got tired of US hurricane coverage and should take a break from that and read about Storm Over Warlock instead.

There’s much talk of skull mountain, many offerings of green potions, but the dialogue isn’t that great, and some of the writing is a bit obtuse. Nevertheless this book is great at painting pictures and landscapes which take you away in escapism. There are some fairly shallow efforts to get into cultural anthropology, but good enough overall to say this book was slightly above average overall, and just basically kicks ass cause its about alien warlocks. I have a rule that anything about alien warlocks will always get a good review from me, until the day I die. Alien warlocks need to stick together. That said, this book coulda been better.

GGF Picks 9/14

Race 1: Horse #4, Warrens lil Margie, to win.

Race 2: Horse #7, Truth Matters, to win.

Race 3: Horse #5, Having Fun, to win.

Race 4: Horse #7, Radio Silent, to win.

Race 5: Horse #6, Lacey’s Rainbow, win/ show/ place (across the board).

Race 6: Horse #4, Melvinized, to win.

Race 7: Horse #6, Bella Ronski, win/ show/ place (across the board).

Airport Security Wants to Touch Your Groin (Over and Over)

If you happen to get singled out by security at the airport, the new thing is that they are now patting your groin down so thoroughly that they will stroke it 8 times or so. It seems like most of the security guards are men, so this makes the Groin staff really not want to fly anymore!


The Deuce is an Epoch of Trash

Critics are calling HBO’s new drama “The Deuce,” starring James Franco as identical twins and Maggie Gyllenhaal as an experienced hooker who doesn’t need a pimp, a masterpiece. It is not. Instead, it is a canny, unsubtle recreation of the sleazy ’70’s, a film that makes “Boogie Nights” look timid in terms of content but far superior in terms of character and story/ Basically, if you are looking for racial stereotypes, gratuitous references to “A Tale of Two Cities,” and nude scene after nude scene, then the 84 minute pilot is for you. If, on the other hand, you are looking for something gripping and intellectually challenging, look elsewhere. The acting is good but it’s hard to care about sleaze. That said, it is perfect for GROIN because it is full of sex, so we will continue to monitor this show and let everyone know if it gets any better. As art, so far, it fails, but as trash, it succeeds!

Howling 2 Werewolf Botch Redux

What do you get when you take cheesy new wave imitators, werewolves, Transylvania occult rituals, and too many transformation flash back clips from the first film? You guessed it, The Howling 2! Thank the Greasy Dark Overlord that Shout Factory saw fit to rerelease this a year or two back. This was a film that Roger Ebert originally gave 1 star and panned, yet praised Sybil Danning’s performance as the head werewolf occult leader. You have to go into this film expecting a bad but watchable film. Its so bad its good. Whereas the Marsupials sequel of this same franchise licks balls and is entirely unwatchable.

One thing I really like is that Christopher Lee plays the brother of the lead werewolf bitch. He delivers a great monologue at the beginning and end.

If you have seen Vamp with Grace Jones about new-wave and vampires, then this is basically the werewolf version of that. Sybil Danning was so awesome in Hercules with Lou Feregino, as well as in Reform School Girls that she really should get a Groin lifetime achievement award. I had the pleasure of meeting her briefly at the legendary porn studio Metro in LA ( yes she had a porn career). I was waiting in line for this circus themed gangbang and she happened to be the hostess. A midget got shot out of a cannon. One of the fluffer girls would only suck on the tip. Was a billion degrees and us male talents had to stand around in 100 degree heat all day waiting for the female models to get their hair and make-up done. Anyhow, back to the film. Jimmy Nail (of Morons from Outer Space fame) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Nail has a great cameo as some drugged out street party reveler which is a Groin most neglected best supporting actor role of all time.

Did I mention there is a total Frankie Goes to Hollywood live band Body Double rip off scene? And that the song is continually recycled throughout the film ad nauseum, including at inappropriate times. In the end this only adds to the charm though.

You have to forgive these 80’s films for all their new wave stuff. Repo Man, Vamp, The Wraith, and Howling 2 are all part of the kind of pop art that Warhol could have appreciated. They are films that poke fun at the consumerist/materialist nature of the 80s. As such, they have become important time capsules to better understand that era. Its also a good woman empowerment role because Sybil Danning dominates all the men in the film and totally kicks ass. We want to thank Orion studios for having created this wonderful piece of trash which has endearing value to us. Danning proceeds to tear off her outfit and reveal her breasts 17 times during the end credits.

The director, Philippe Mora, is a GROIN Hall of Famer for such films as “The Return of Captain Invincible,” “The Beast Within,” “A Breed Apart,” and the Whitley Strieber biopic “Communion” with Christopher Walken. He says in the commentary that while he used to hate the film with a passion, now he loves it.  Star Reb Brown played Captain America on TV in the 1970’s, with Christopher Lee as the villain, and was Yor in “Yor, The Hunter from the Future.”  Annie McEnroe, the female lead, was in Oliver Stone’s “The Hand” with Michael Caine.  This film is funnier than “Exorcist II” and way sexier than “An American Werewolf in Paris.”  If you want a “howling” bad movie good time, don’t miss this winner!

Sexbot Assassins Are Next

A scientist is sounding the alarm bell that it is only a matter of time until sexbots get hacked and become dangerous killers. He says once the AI is hacked that the hacker will have total control over them and they ‘absolutely’ are capable of killing and harming. He says the sexbots won’t get a mind of their own like on Westworld, but will simply get hacked and then follow the hacker’s commands.


They run on an operating system, similar to a computer, but easier to hack than a phone. It sounds to me like they are going to give passengers who bring sexbots on planes a lot of trouble, since they could be seen as security threats! Is the CIA going to use them as hired assassins?

Another thing is it seems like sexbots could easily be programmed to tape the encounter, and then the footage could be used to blackmail the user. While there are security concerns regarding any new technology, the positive possibilities of sexbots influence on society outweighs any negative risks. Sexbots are a pancea for the lonely, the disabled, the bereaved, for the sexually inexperienced and more. Society’s knee jerk reaction is always to look down on things it doesn’t understand. It will take time for sexbots to gain acceptance as useful to society. But eventually, they will become not only accepted, but likely viewed as a luxury good, which is desirable to have.

I Love Heartbeeps

Do you like robots? Also, have you ever wondered what a movie starring Andy Kaufman would be like? Then look no further than “Heartbeeps,” a futuristic science fiction romantic comedy about two robots in love. Played by Andy Kaufman and Bernadette Peters, these robots have wandered away from home, and they fall in love while taking in their new surroundings. There is also a stand-up comedian robot and a “baby” robot, the latter of which is voiced by Jerry Garcia. Randy Quaid appears as a man trying to bring the robots home. With remarkable, Oscar nominated makeup effects by Stan Winston and a terrific electronic score by John Williams, this 1981 sleeper you’ve never heard of is a precursor to “E.T.” Derided as a flop (by Andy Kaufman himself!) but available on widescreen DVD, this film by Alan Arkush (“Rock and Roll High School”) is far better than “Short Circuit” and way ahead of its time. Prepare to laugh and be amazed by this crazy cult flick!

Sexbot v. Hooker

Sales of Samantha the A.I. sexbot are taking off. Orders are up since customers want that new experience, not the same old 60 buck ho. People who didn’t want to cheat on their spouse are now showing up at European brothels because they can bang a sexbot, and still look their partner n the eyes and say, “Honey, I’m not cheating”.


Its pretty awesome that you can change her stimulation level with the turn of a knob, to make her less or more sensitive, depending on how hard you want to pound her. A new feature where she moans when you rub her tits makes you want to see if she does a good titty-fuck. Her personality A.I. sells separately from her body (if I remember correctly). You can also program her to be more shy or more dominant.

Sexbots are cool cause they don’t upsell in the middle of the act. And they aren’t busy on their cell phone taking phone calls from other clients while you are trying to bang them. Or eating Denny’s hashed browns from a white Styrofoam box while doing it doggy-style.

Possible downsides of that I see are that with a real hooker one could seek tips on how to please one’s partner at home, assuming the partner is unhappy with certain aspects of her sex life. Also from a self-esteem and egotistical perspective I don’t think you will get the same boost from making a sexbot cum (Samantha can) as from a regular chick. However, if one already has a good sex life or none at all , I still feel that sexbots broaden the horizons for many people, including couples, the disabled, people who are lonely or bereaved, and more. Plus people who just don’t give a shit. And people that are sick of hearing women complain!

Maybe sexbots pussies just will never get sore or have a period either. So lets assume you can fuck them until your heart is content!

In America we have the right to pursue happiness, and if sexbots can make some people happy, then I think that’s great. It doesn’t seem like sexbots pose a major threat to the nuclear family the way the tranny and homo leftist propaganda does. Sexbots are going to be a luxury status symbol and also therapueatic in the near future. In many ways sexbots will help people cope with the stress of modern life, and then if anything, people will be refreshed and better focused at work and so forth. Instead of having to drive around pissed off all day swearing at each other, people will be drinking Dom Perignon, eating pistachios, and banging sexbots.

Thoughts on Close Encounters

They have for some reason rereleased the Steven Spielberg classic Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind theatrically. It is competing against such other classics as Nut Job 2. Rather than doing a traditional review, I am going to bring up some questions which came to mind while watching this on the big screen 40 years after the original release.

  1. The first thing which is striking about this film by today’s standards is the extent to which Spielberg trashes the middle class traditional family. The husband is being accosted by his spoiled brat kids, who will not compromise with him regarding family outings and such. The kids and wife are always bugging and nagging him about little things and don’t allow Dreyfuss to realize his full potential as a human being.
  2. The husband leaves the wife (Terri Garr) for Melina Dillon, whose child he saves. He does this to feel like a man and to be a hero. Does Spielberg feel that men should leave their wives in pursuit of adventure and for a higher purpose? The way Dreyfuss leaves with the aliens is not unlike how Jesus’s Apostles were called upon and left everything behind, including their wives and children.
  3. Which brings us to the next point, why was Dreyfuss chosen by the aliens as the sole human to be allowed entry to the spacecraft? The aliens swarm around him in with his arms extended wide (in a messianic fashion). Is Spielberg saying that Dreyfuss becomes the messiah as the aliens decided to share advanced technology or thought with him. Am thinking this has to do something with the telekinesis he has in terms of having been sent the idea to meet the aliens at Devil’s Canyon. Perhaps telekinesis would allow the aliens to speed up the communication with humans to a great extent.
  4. An interesting side-note is that the only other character the aliens choose to interact with in the film is the French scientist played by Trauffaut, a great French director. He does the hand signs that correlate to the notes. Why did the aliens choose him to speak to? Because of his intellectual curiosity??
  5. At the press conference the older cowboy dude discredits the UFO siting by bringing up his Bigfoot experience. Was this guy a nut, genuine, or a government spook who was planted at the news conference in order to discredit the eyewitnesses? Does Spielberg believe in Bigfoot? Poltergeist, A.I., and Close Encounters were the only screenplays he actually wrote by the way. So he was into far out stuff.
  6. The cow mutilations in the film. What’s up with that? The one dude with the glasses does get gassed by the black helicopter. However, the other people take their masks off when they are by the military. Were the cows gassed or precision slayed like in real life? Was the government testing the cows for radiation?
  7. Also , the aliens in the film do have the tall skinny ones, and then the short stubby ones , like in Whitley Strieber’s Communion. Does Spielberg believe this is what aliens really look like and that aliens exist?
  8. Spielberg has been quoted as saying that NASA originally sent him a 20 page letter telling him to not make the film. That making this film would be too dangerous for the general public. What’s up with that???