Shock Value Intereresting but Flawed

Recently one of my best friends gave me a book called “Shock
Value” for Christmas. Written by Jason Zinoman, it chronicles the
birth of modern horror, beginning with “Rosemary’s Baby” and “Night of
the Living Dead” and continuing with the great horror films of the
1970’s including “Last House on the Left” and “The Texas Chain Saw
Massacre.” Directors such as George A. Romero, John Carpenter, Roman
Polanski, Brian De Palma, Wes Craven, Steven Spielberg, and William
Friedkin are chronicled.

While it is entertaining to read about the birth of modern horror and
these amazing, strong personalities, the book ends
up trying to cover too much ground. Only Hooper and Brian
De Palma come across as fully formed individuals; everyone else
(particularly Carpenter and Romero) seems too thin a character for the
pages allotted. Dan O’Bannon (writer of “Alien”) goes the other way;
we learn a lot about him personally but little about his filmmaking
techniques. Why, for example, does he think “Assault on Precinct 13,
one of the best films of the 1970’s, is a terrible movie? The book is
entertaining enough but I have a nagging feeling it should have been
better. Definitely check it out of your local library then, but only
purchase at a big discount. “Shock Value” needs more shocking
insights!

Sherlockda Holme$ : P.I.

In 2099, the world has flooded. Elites on the two coasts, survived in sky-scrapers, but all those in the plains perished. The societies in NY City and L.A. had a new terrain, where they used tiny compact submarines to get around town underwater. And a series of ski lift type transports were used above ground. The current state was likely the result of weather manipulation. In all of the land, when a murder occurred, there was only one chick capable of solving the crime for the people. She was a P.I., and a vigilante. Her name was Sherlockda Holme$, P.I.

“Another day, same shit,” she commented, chewing on an oxygen bar. “This fucking bra is killing me, hardly even fits the nerve agent compartment,” she complained.

Most of the world was now aware that chaos was the norm, not order. Because of this, nobody wanted to listen to bubble gum music anymore. In the year 3000, most music had been completely forgotten about, except for death metal and classical music. Beatles records and rap cd’s had all been burned in piles. Classic death metal was back in style and the top ten billboards looked like this:

1) Grave – You Will Never See Heaven
2) Morbid Angel – World of Shit
and so forth…

By this time you got the songs through an implant behind the ear.

Because Sherlockda had never forgotten her roots, she had a hidden stash of DMX cd’s that her great-great-grandmother had hidden under a bunch of bricks in the wall in the living room. She drew upon these for inspiration.

These days her underwater compartment was only 10×10. Home was mostly just to sleep. You ate what you netted while you were out.

“You’re complaining about your lethal bra? How do you think it feels to have to wear a steel cup all day? You know they make these jock straps in China right?”

Her sidekick Throatsmasher was a hesher. He wore a battle vest jacket with various DM bands on it and a bandana. He weighed 220 or so and had lots of spikes on. Plus, he was 6’4 and knew Kajukenbo. He mostly worked with Sherlocka because he needed money to buy vintage metal cds. That and steroids. Which formed a cycle. He was chewing wild mushrooms, which grew all over now that things were permanently damp.

Their submarine was a double person one, by Harley Davidson, modeled after the old motorcycles which had a third wheel and second compartment. It had custom skulls and dollar signs painted on it.

“Bitch, I’m gonna drive this time,” asserted Throatcrusher. He set down his net, taking a break from catching the mutant fish.

“Not if you wanna get that bread dog,” replied Sherlocka.

“Where we headed then?”

“To Club Drown, now get your bitch ass in the shotgun.”

And they wrestled over the situation. Trying to see who could get the submission. Throatcrusher shot in for the double-let takedown. Shelocka gave him da business though, feeding him a forearm sandwich, cross facing him, while over hooking the other arm. Throatcrusher pressed on, ducking under and wrapping his 18″ bicep under her leg for the fire-man’s carry. But Sherlocka wrapped her arm around his and her other leg on his other arm, and choked him with his own lapel in a crucifix. Throatcrusher begrudgingly tapped out.

“Ok. You drive. Whatever. See if I care,” he said, getting in. “Where the hell are we going anyways?”

“We’re going to club Drown. There was a mass shooting at that metal club last night. Some kind of neutron gun. There is a bounty on the killer. Ten year supply of oxygen.”

“Well I get to pick the music if you are driving,” commanded Throatcrusher.

And they sped off under the filthy green current, listening remotely to some Pungent Stench.

 

 

Serpent and Rainbow Hits BluRay

Wes Craven’s best and probably most underrated effort is 1988’s
“The Serpent and the Rainbow,” a terrifying tale loosely based on a
true story. Inspired by the non-fiction book by Wade Davis that
details his adventures in Haiti while searching for an effective
“zombification” drug, this film gives us a Dr. Allen (played by Bill
Pullman in his first lead role) who is on the same quest but who has
much more harrowing experiences. How harrowing? Well, how about
suffering brutal injuries while being tortured and (later) being
buried alive?

Sort of a fever dream combo of “A Nightmare on Elm
Street” and an Indiana Jones flick, the film impresses with its
thousands of extras, one of whom eats glass on-screen, The film,
which was shot in Haiti and the Dominican Republic, also impresses by
showing the real-life turmoil going on in the region and suggesting a
culture beyond America’s understanding. Throw in some truly
frightening dream (or are they?) sequences, a great performance by
Zakes Mokae as a truly corrupt government official and an interracial
romance between Pullman and fellow doctor Cathy Tyson and you have one
of the most interesting films of the 1980’s. Also, Brad Fiedel
contributes his best score.

The Blu-ray from Shout Factory! features a great new transfer,
very lucid commentary from star Bill Pullman and an involving 27
minute making-of documentary featuring extensive interviews with
Pullman, Davis, and cinematographer John Lindley. Don’t miss this
seminal release of an unjustly forgotten horror film. “The Serpent
and The Rainbow” will scare you silly!

1st Theatrical Release Filmed on Iphone

There’s a very effective horror thriller called “Unsane” that
snuck into theatres Thursday night. Directed by Oscar-winner Steven
Soderbergh. the film stars Claire Foy as a career woman at the end of
her rope because of an awful experience with a stalker. She starts to
act out on dates and makes the mistake of telling a counselor that
she’s recently had suicidal thoughts. Before she knows it, she’s
tricked into voluntarily committing herself to a mental hospital.
That’s bad, but what’s worse is she thinks she sees her stalker
working at the hospital. Is she insane or isn’t she? How does she get
out of this awful predicament?

I wasn’t expecting much from this low-budget horror film,
especially when I heard that the director shot it entirely on his
I-Phone 7. But it’s actually really good. It touches on universal
fears such as being a victim of stalking, being committed to a mental
hospital, and having no one believe your cries of distress. The
acting is solid, the script is believable, and shooting it on an
I-Phone produces a you-are-there feeling that a bigger camera would
not. It is well-researched and teaches valuable lessons like: 1.
Never tell your shrink anything about suicidal thoughts. 2. If you’re
in the hospital, don’t do anything no matter what.

The story builds with several twists I have not revealed here and the director avoids
horror tropes like jump-scares. In short, this is a very good film
that is solid, believable, and much scarier than “The Strangers: Prey
at Night.” If you like good thrillers, don’t miss this one!

The Event Was Silent

The economic crash has begun and society is in denial , because of their greed. Therefor any attempt at serious conversation with family or friends is recently replied to with “I am not interested in speaking about that,”

and then they will talk about sports or movies or a repetitive topic such as something about so and so family members job , but over and over.

Cannot speak of anything substantive in society because everyone is either too dumb or too short attention span.

Book stores are closing everywhere and marijuana dispensaries and pharmacies are opening.

We are living in the culturally dumbest society in the history of western civilization at this point.

Craigslist Ends Personal Ads

Craigslist already had shut down the escorts section a few years ago. Now the combo of hooker and the US Congress have resulted in CL having to shut down the personal ads, which had been over-run by homos and hookers in recent years, including being infested with trannies. From the CL site:

US Congress just passed HR 1865, “FOSTA”, seeking to subject websites to criminal and civil liability when third parties (users) misuse online personals unlawfully.

Any tool or service can be misused. We can’t take such risk without jeopardizing all our other services, so we are regretfully taking craigslist personals offline. Hopefully we can bring them back some day.

To the millions of spouses, partners, and couples who met through craigslist, we wish you every happiness!

Anyhow, leave it to the government, queers, trannies, and hookers to ruin one of the only places adults could meet for fun without having to pay a hefty bar tab.

Stormy Daniels = Extortion Artist

Stormy Daniels. the porn star who won’t shut up about having banged Trump, is trying to extort the president through the media. If a man did what Stormy is doing to Trump, people would be calling the behavior creepy and extortionist. There is no law against banging porn stars, or against paying them in a signed agreement to shut the hell up about it. What Stormy is doing by having taken the $ to be silent, but then spilling her guts, amounts to her trying to extort the president, and blackmail him. Her slimeball lawyer goes on every leftist news show daily. Today he offered a photo of a cd (data disc probably), which perhaps Trump filmed the affair on.

Stormy is one step away from being like Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction. Personally I feel Stormy should be arrested on blackmail, racketeering, and extortion, along with her lawyer. They should do time in the federal penitentiary. Trump should also sue CNN, MSNBC, and CNBC for racketeering, extortion, and blackmail.

The left is using consensual sex as a scarlet letter combined with a witch-hunt. Last time I checked it was still legal for two consenting adults to have sex. Apparently, leftists think its fine for gays to have sex, for people to have sex with animals, for Bill Clinton to rape Kathleen Wiley among others, and for Bill to hang out with Jeffery Epstein on pedo island, but somehow its not ok for Trump to have a private sex life. Well, I have news for them – the Constitution guarantees a right to privacy, which covers Trump in the Stormy case. The truth is the left is jealous because Trump is banging all the hot chicks, and leaving dog-meat like Hillary for the leftist to bang. The left is just jealous of Trump, and that is the root of all their insecure attacks against him.

Personally, I commend the president on banging lots of models and porn stars. America has wanted its balls back for 8 years since that Kenyan coke using homosexual Obama and his transsexual wife ‘Michelle – or Michael, (depending on who you talk to) was in office. With Trump, America has its balls back, and is using them not only to stand up to tyrants like China and North Korea, but also to put those balls to use banging the finest broads that America has to offer.

Tomb Raider Falls Flat

OK, the trailer for the new “Tomb Raider” movie looked bad, but I
really enjoyed the two Angelina Jolie movies from the early 2000’s, so
I thought I’d give it a shot. Big mistake! Alicia Vikander was great
as a sinister android in “Ex Machina” but she’s all wrong here. She
doesn’t have the build that Lara Croft is supposed to have, and she is
unable to project toughness and be a badass. Instead, we get a sweet
girl who REALLY loves her father. Her father, by the way, is played
by Dominic West as a bit of a dork who keeps calling her “sprout.”
The whole movie is about Lara’s quest to find her missing and
supposedly dead father.

I thought about walking out, but some of the
plotting was too promising: Lara finds her father on an almost
deserted island and together with some baddies dig up an old tomb of a
woman they think is a vampire who wanted to drink the world’s blood.
That’s not actually what she turns out to be, but there is about 25
minutes of good Indiana Jones rip-off stuff in the tomb where this
long-dead woman lives, but the rest of the film is misconceived and
slowly paced. I was hoping for a sexy, badass action movie and
instead I got a movie about a girl who means well. I think this film
is going to bomb big-time and it deserves to bomb big time. Next
time, executives, get a woman with some boobs and some sass! Please!

Friday 13th BluRay Collection: Finally!

Do you feel that you haven’t had enough Jason in your life lately? Well, good news: Paramount just released the “Friday the 13th” 8-film collection on Blu-ray for only $25. Now you can cower in terror for each kill and leer at every teenager behaving badly. The first 8 Friday the 13th films have never looked better! It’s tough for me to pick a favorite out of this collection, but films 4-8 have particularly good transfers. Part 8, “Jason Takes Manhattan” particularly stands out as looking great while “A New Beginning,” the fifth one, is a better film than its reputation. The best commentary goes to director Joseph Zito and writer Barry Corbin of “Part IV: The Final Chapter” as they candidly discuss what they shot and didn’t and what they like about the film and what they don’t. One caveat: Although there is a 3D option for the third film, Paramount decided not to include the glasses. Bad move, Paramount! But otherwise, this is a wonderful collection for slasher film enthusiasts as it gives us the most pristine prints with the best extras imaginable. Don’t miss this collection!