Jenky Flashlights

What the hell is the deal with the flashlights these days? I have bought all different kinds of flashlights. D cell battery ones. LED ones. Mag lights. You name it. From the Dollar store to expensive Mag lights from Orchard Supply I am finding that no matter what brand of flashlight you buy, it will turn out to be a useless piece of shit. The light will start flickering long before the bulb is ready to burn out. Especially on the LED ones. I do like that they are bright, but what good is that if you cannot rely on it. After all flashlights are for emergencies and stuff. Is this because everything is made in China these days or what? Can somebody please recommend a decent flashlight to me? I am ready to go back to the dark ages and use a kerosene lamp if not. I never had trouble with flashlights in the 80s or 90s. Am not big on lawsuits, but someone needs to sue these jenky flashlight manufacturers. This is bullshit!

Author: Lord Beardschlimmer Wilhelm Bartholomew III

Leading the charge against societal decay!