Walter Hill’s Assignment is Twisted

If there’s one movie you’re not supposed to like this year, it’s “The Assignment.” If you’re a member of the LGBT community, you’re supposed to be offended by its mere existence. If you’re the regular average Joe, the themes of sex change combined with copious male and female nudity will offend. Conversely, we at GROIN kind of like it! “The Assignment” (2016) is the new film by Walter Hill, a consistently good director whose work includes “The Warriors” and “Streets of Fire.” Perhaps dissatisfied with well-crafted but non-distinctive recent work like “Bullet to the Head,” Hill has opted to make the first action flick (that I know of) about a sex change.

Sigourney Weaver plays a brilliant, quite mad doctor who wants revenge for the death of her estranged brother. Frank Kitchen (played by Michelle Rodriguez) is a super-macho gangster who committed the crime and is about to get the surprise of his life. He is now a she, and will have to discover his feminine side as he enacts bloody revenge for an operation he never wanted. Meanwhile, the audience gets graphic male and female nudity so we are convinced that Frank is authentically male and female.

This movie kind of trashes the SF Tenderloin District lifestyle in its immorality and seediness. In between scenes there are comic book like jump cuts reminiscent of his earlier classic The Warriors. The antagonists include mad plastic surgeons, psychiatrists, Chinamen Mafioso types, and dive bar trolls. The best thing is the quick pace of the film, and the high number of action sequences. The film’s use of SF as a dark backdrop of societal collapse is effective. This movie subversively does not give the gay lifestyle a pass. As such, it is a brave film.

We are supposed to be offended, apparently, that Frank didn’t want the operation and doesn’t like being female. I was more interested in the performances of Rodriguez and Weaver. Rodriguez, who was also good in “Girlfight,” is convincing as the transgender protagonist, We believe her as both sexes, and we also believe she is tough and unhappy. For Weaver, this is her best work since the 1990’s. Proclaiming her superiority to all of mankind and outraged that more people don’t know Shakespeare and Poe front and backwords , she is the most memorable antagonist in a long time. Rent it to sneer and watch it to gasp, because “The Assignment” is the rare B-action flick that doesn’t suck.

American Made Delivers

“American Made” is Tom Cruise’s best movie in awhile. It’s a dark comedy based on true events about a pilot who gets in way over his head working for the C.I.A. and, later, Pablo Escobar and Manuel Noriega. Because his actions shed so much negative light on America’s activities in the Middle East (detailed in the Iran-Contra scandal), he is able to escape punishment for an extraordinarily long time. Although Cruise has trouble with his character’s southern accent, he fearlessly portrays his character’s lack of moral qualms. In fact, in terms of having access to planes, a ton of money, and guns for no good reason, his character resembles the Vegas shooter. Is this just a coincidence, or is it some kind of deeper message from Hollywood about how history repeats. Look at Obama’s cash pallet Iran deal. Or how the CIA accidentally armed ISIS when the Iraqi army forfeited their weapons.

One of the best things about this film was that the cinematography was excellent. Many of the shots of the vast forests of South America are breath-taking as Cruise flies above. There are some similarities to the film Gold, starring Mathew McConoughey, released not long ago. Its good that films about serious subject matter are sometimes still hitting the mainstream.

Director Doug Liman of “The Bourne Identity” and “Edge of Tomorrow” fame keeps the story focused and the satire sharp. It’s definitely better than the similar “Lord of War” and “War Dogs.” And compared to “Air America” it is golden. The problems with those other films is that they were too whimsical. In short, if you’re looking for a serious film that happens to be very entertaining, go with “American Made.”

Battle of the Sexes (Women Won)

This new flick Battle of the Sexes, about the chauvinist gambler and former Wimbleton winner who took on female tennis pro Bill Jean King, is a good combination of humor and social commentary. The film is well balance in a way that few films are. Kind of reminds me of Rain Man in that regard. The sets and costumes really capture the era of the 70s very well.

Do you remember hearing about the tennis match in the 70s between them, in which Billie Jean King won? I remember HBO sports pushing documentaries about it really hard when I was like 5 years old, in between Mike Tyson boxing decapitations. This movie makes an interesting point: that women won the battle of the sexes, in terms of independence, pay, and social prestige. Billie Jean King becomes liberated from her husband by a dike lover to rub in the fact that she wins this charade of a tennis match. It is rather unsettling. The husband has to cuck. And that’s the problem. Don’t blame women for being misguided. Its the men who cucked societally and allowed this corrosion, where men get walked all over.

 

Steve Carell plays the male chauvinist very effectively. He is a dead look-alike in fact. At the time the guy was so past retirement that the match was a bogus litmus test for the make species. John McEnroe would have kicked Billie Jean;s ass. Anyhow, Carell brings a zeal and enthusiasm to the role which is unmatched in the film. He does manage to beat the #2 tennis star in the world at the time, who is the more traditional woman. Strangly, the movie subtly hints that a traditional woman does not handle pressure as well as a gay one.

This is a hard film to review and grade so I would recommend you see it yourself and come to your own decision. Prepare to have a few laughs and possibly be outraged at dike scenes where you were not invited in as a threesome.

Sexbots Will Enhance Porn

Some porn stars are worried sexbots will put them out of business:

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/4637619/porn-stars-say-rise-of-sex-robots-is-putting-them-out-of-work-because-randy-fans-prefer-perving-on-robots-to-humans/

They are totally wrong. It is true sexbots will become popular, to where they are also more socially acceptable. However, this will in no way hurt porn sales. Rather porn sales will go through the roof. Here’s why: Most women will not let you watch porn while you fuck them. However, many men are voyeurs too. Men want to fuck their sexbot or girlfriend while watching other women get fucked in porn. The sexbot allows you to do this, while over half of women will not.

I also predict that women getting fucked by male sexbots will become popular porn videos with time, since men do not want to see other actual men in porn at all, since it makes them feel gay. And women will want to watch men doing weird shit with sexbots in porns, because some women feel competitive in a negative way when they watch women in porn. So porns with sexbots in them will flourish as well.

There are other advantages of sexbots in porn. Stds will not be an issue with them, saving testing costs. In porn women for instance do not want to film with men who shot at gay studios, since the gay studios often lacked std testing historically. Stamina or scheduling will not be an issue like with people. Even issues you don’t hear about like how some women are racist about what actors they will do scenes with, will be more easily resolved with sexbots, in which race does not exist.

Right now a third of men are down with sexbots and 20 percent of women dig them: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4956016/A-men-say-sex-ROBOT.html This is progress! Less arguments with your partner, so you can focus on leisure / happiness and productivity is a win-win.

Do not underestimate sexbots. With porn in a rut anyways, sexbots can only help the porn industry.

Bladerunner 2049 Review

As a sequel to perhaps the greatest science-fiction film of all time, “Blade Runner 2049” has a lot to live up to. And, surprisingly, it does, in one of the year’s best films. Ryan Gosling plays Agent K, a replicant blade runner who is assigned to track down and kill Deckard (Harrison Ford, returning from the original). He soon discovers that, through Deckard, he may hold the key to a secret that could change history forever.

This film cost $150 million and looks it. Society on Earth is barely surviving an environmental onslaught, but it is still recognizably a “Blade Runner” world. There is a big Sony presence in the future, and a gigantic hologram of a naked woman (which must look great in 3D). The line between human and androids has further blurred.

Harrison Ford is much better in this film than he was in the first one, exuding warmth, humanity, and purpose. I also really liked Jared Leto as the sinister, blind android manufacturer, and Robin Wright as K’s understanding superior. Besides being excellent science fiction, the film is also a mystery and a film noir. As with the first one, the ending is surprisingly moving and provides a real emotional catharsis. Hans Zimmer’s score (with an assist from Vangelis) is his best in years.

If I have a complaint, it is that the film, photographed by Roger Deakins, is not as aesthetically pleasing as the original. That’s a small gripe, though, for a film that accomplishes so much. “Blade Runner 2049” is a must-see.

Cult of Chucky Totally Worthy

Finally, something is new on Netflix that is worth watching. No, I’m not talking about “Death Note” and I’m definitely not talking about the hideous “Gerald’s Game.” I’m talking about “Cult of Chucky,” the seventh installment in the “Child’s Play” series and the best one in a long time. You want gore? This movie has the most gruesome decapitation since “The Omen.” You want mayhem? This is the wildest movie in the series. You want Brad Dourif and Jennifer Tilly back in their iconic roles? This movie has them. It was also canny to set the movie in a mental hospital, since the patients are schizophrenic so no one believes them when they see Chucky. Fiona Dourif, the star, shows some of the same talent as her dad. Alex Vincent, who plays Andy Barclay in the first two films, is also back starring in this one. How cool is that? I will not talk about the new plot developments in this film; I will simply say that it is definitely worth watching. Don’t miss “Cult of Chucky”!

Heinlein’s Technological Messiah

Robert A. Heinlein’s masterpiece the Sixth Column, written in the 1950’s regards a future eerily similar to the reality of events in the world today. In the future the US and the rest of the free world has fallen to Pan-Asian Red Dawn style invasion. A corrupt regime based on graft and bribery takes over, and the population is enslaved to work camps. A few ex-military dudes are holed up in a mountainside. They develop new technologies – body armor force-fields and cutting edge laser weapons. They also develop an electronic halo, which they use for religious significance. They start calling the rebel leader Lord Mota. He has an Obi-Wan type quality to him.

Basically these guys use their technologies to convince many of the enslaved people to follow them. The Pan-Asian guards are bribed with gold. Also the guards do not report the strange technology because they don’t want to get in trouble with their bosses. So they always report every thing as status quo, so as not to draw attention to themselves. Meanwhile, the halo ex military dudes build up this giant following. It gets to where they are too big for the enemy government to really handle. The religious group is finally rounded up in a public park for execution. However, the rebel dudes depose the Prince using the technology. Finally, they impose their own military dictatorship based on reason and science. This is done under the premise of preserving the union , though in reality it is opposed to restoring the democratic republic.

“It seems obvious. We have here a unique opportunity to break with the stupidities of the past and substitute a truly scientific rule, headed by a man chosen for his intelligence and scientific training rather than for his skill in catering to the preferences of the mob.” (page 222)

Some of the strange things in this book I should mention are the author’s use of Mormons to effect the religious rebellion. The mention of a church massacre in Charleston, SC is a weird coincidence. Also the church strongholds in the story occur in Salt Lake City and Denver, often considered by conspiracy theorists to be centers of FBI and Illuminati, respectively. The use of a gigantic religious hologram by the rebels to cause rebellion also mirrors some newer technologies which we have discussed on the site before.

Exorcist Season 2 : It has Begun

Horror fans unite. The surprisingly scary but low-rated TV show “The Exorcist” is back for a second season. Every Friday at 9PM, our two priests (ok, one of them has temporarily lost his collar) battle Satan in slick and frightening fashion. In the first season, they were involved with trying to save Geena Davis’s family in a storyline directly connected to the 1973 classic of the same name. Meanwhile, a giant conspiracy was going on to topple the Catholic Church by killing the Pope.

For the second season, the first storyline is apparently over, Season Two is going to focus on a home for disabled and at-risk children. At the head of the home is John Cho (Harold from “Harold & Kumar”/ He should provide additional rooting interest in what promises to be a blast of a season. The two actors playing the priests are both fantastic, and the special effects are top-notch. Fittingly, the first episode of the new season is dedicated to William Peter Blatty, the Oscar-winning writer of the book and movie who died while the show was on hiatus. If you like to be scared, don’t miss “The Exorcist.”

Jeepers Creepers 3 Makes the Cut

“Jeepers Creepers 3” is a rip-roaring monster movie. Exuberant with its gore and humor, it concerns what happened with the creeper between the first and second films. It brings back three actors from the first one: Brandon Smith. Gina Philips, and, of course, Jonathan Breck as the Creeper. Also starring is the legendary, green-eyed Meg Foster, from such classics as “They Live,” “Leviathan,” (1989) and “The Emerald Forest,” as well as Stan Shaw, a character actor from “Rocky” and many others. The film concerns a massive attempt to hunt down the Creeper by law enforcement. As the hunt continues, many innocent people get caught in the cross-fire.

I enjoyed the film’s sense of humor and that it is an old-fashioned B-picture. Particularly amusing is a customized tank that is utilized to fight the creature, as well as the booby-trapped The Creeper vehicle (which two characters get stuck in). The special FX are not as impressive as in the first two, but the film is still a great deal of fun.

This is a very controversial film because director Victor Salva is a convicted sex offender in a 1988 case involving a boy in his film “Clownhouse.” His crime was quite heinous and he was lucky to receive only a 3-year prison sentence. That said, does that have any bearing on his films? No. Victor Salva makes entertaining films. “The Nature of the Beast,” “Powder,” and “Jeepers Creepers” are good films. So, to a lesser extent, is “Jeepers Creepers 3.”

I saw the film at a special one-time only show. A lot of people went to see this film, so they added a special show for Wednesday, Oct. 4. If you’re a fan of the series, go see it!

One last thing: after the film, they showed an interview with Jonathan Breck, the actor who plays the Creeper. His warm memories of making the films combined with his enthusiasm for his fans and the series in general sent those remaining in the audience out on an up note.