Rave Moshing Sucks

Two weeks ago, I went to check out Toxic Summer, a big rave in San Jose put on by Wobbleland (which I had been to before). Wobbleland had some good DJ’s like Nero. Some DJ named LaXX was performing when I arrived. His music was so bad that it would have been better suited for a laxative commercial. It was trying as a listener because it was so repetitive. Long buildup, stupid house beat like Pitbull, followed by rap beat, and then repeat (over and over). There were the usual chicks in G strings at this dubstep concert, but they were mostly pale and not having a nice bod. Guys were walking around super fast in groups like they were on something. Where were they storming to? The bathroom.

My lady was hella fine of course though she kept making me wait for her by the bathroom (making me look like a loser). Anyhow this DJ also kept stopping playing and would then turn all the lights on and say lame uninspiring stuff. At one point DJ says ‘ I wanna see a huge fucking moshpit right there!’ and then you see the floor turn into a pit with a buncha guys with mouse masks etc moshing. I was already annoyed because someone earlier football smashed me from behind while I was dancing with my gf (out of nowhere). I stared at him for a while and he didn’t seem to want to try it again. Party was kinda lame , so left and got drunk with the neighbors instead.

Author: Lord Beardschlimmer Wilhelm Bartholomew III

Leading the charge against societal decay!