Hotel Artemis is a Fine Mess

So you’ve seen “Upgrade” hate Hollywood blockbusters, and are
looking for something to see, “Hotel Artemis” should do the trick. It
is a sci-fi neo-noir heist action picture set in L.A. in 2028 during
the “worst riot in history.” Two criminals, one seriously injured,
have just pulled off a heist and unknowingly taken a pen with a chip
in it Artemis comes in. A secret hospital and hotel for especially
qualified criminal “members,” the hotel is run by Jodie Foster in
old-age makeup with assistance from scene-stealing Dave Bautista. It’s
a rough night for the hotel which gets even trickier when a wounded
cop Foster knows turns up at the hotel. Other guests include Sofia
Boutella (Razzie-nominated as as the mummy in “The Mummy” but fine
here) as an assassin, Charlie Day as an arms dealer, and eventually
Jeff Goldblum as a crime boss called The Wolf King and Zachary Quinto
as his son. All of these characters face off against each other and
assorted others as L.A. falls into ruins and nobody is safe. As
revelations about Foster’s character take center stage and a ticking
time bomb enters the plot, what will become of these characters and
the city of Los Angeles?

So this film is a mash-up of “Hudson Hawk,” (in the opening
heist) “Blade Runner,” (the futuristic setting), “The Purge,” (L.A. a
lawless hellhole), “Assault on Precinct 13,” (the siege aspect), and
of course the “John WicK” series (with its hospital for killers). The
surprise is how well it all works. You would think there would be no
one to root for but the actors are good enough to sustain interest.
Dave Bautista, from “Guardians of the Galaxy” and “Blade Runner 2049,”
turns in a particularly good performance as Foster’s muscle-bound
sidekick. His character gives the audience an in. Foster and
Goldblum are miscast but still deliver good performances, especially
when playing off each other. The director, Drew Pearce (writer of
“Iron Man 3”), is good at establishing and maintaining tension and the
parts of the film depicting the future (such as the use of a 3D
printer to create deadly weapons) work surprisingly well. Only the
McGuffin, the pen worth $18 million) falls flat. “Hotel Artemis” is
quirky sci-fi fun, the low-budget thriller we didn’t know we needed. I
definitely recommend it!, and a double feature with “Upgrade” would be

Author: Lord Beardschlimmer Wilhelm Bartholomew III

Leading the charge against societal decay!