Dark Age Rules

Did you ever worry about getting eaten by giant crocodiles? I remember one time as a youngin’ in Florida, we rented a paddleboat. Immediately we were surrounded by alligators. Still don’t know why they rented those paddleboats there. Too dangerous…

This movie really appealed to me when I saw the box. It’s my life story:


Ready for an excellent crocodile movie with the star of “Wolf Creek”? Sink your teeth into “Dark Age,” the best crocodile-on-a-rampage movie that I’ve ever seen!  This 1987 movie is about a crocodile hunter (played by John Jarratt of “Wolf Creek”) who has a daunting assignment: capture and neutralize a 25-foot saltwater  crocodile who’s been wreaking havoc in Australia.  There’s an added kink: he must not offend the local Aborigine population, who believes that the crocodile is a reflection of their spirit.

Why is this direct-to-video film so good?  At Groin, we always give Australian B movies (from back in the day) the highest marks! First of all, it has great atmosphere: you really feel like you’re in the outback,  Secondly, the crocodile seems both real and like a real threat.  Thirdly, John Jarratt makes for a great hero, tough and resourceful.  Finally, the ending, which I won’t give away, is pretty surprising.  This film is so much better than the crap we see in theatres today!  We need a good Blu-ray release of it soon!  And, for what it’s worth, apparently Quentin Tarantino loves this film.  Look for “Dark Age” on VHS on Amazon and EBay. It’ll scare you silly!

Author: Lord Beardschlimmer Wilhelm Bartholomew III

Leading the charge against societal decay!