Bra Banditas

What a crime against humanity There is an outbreak of bra-stealing in Salinas and possibly Monterey, according to the Salinas Californian. Three women stole 300 bras from Victoria’s Secret at Northridge Mall. The bras are worth more than $17,000. That’s over $50 a bra! We here at want to inform women that they don’t need to wear bras. In fact, as far as we’re concerned, women don’t need to wear clothes at all! There was similar bra-stealing recently in Monterey, probably by the same women. If you know anything, don’t call us!

Anyhow, what hubris! Women wasting hundreds of bucks on these over-priced undergarments, because they are being sold a consumer image. Then these lazy thieves come along and fight back, by stealing from their corporate masters. Oh the irony! You would never see a guy caught dead trying to steal 10k worth of tighty whiteys. We have the decency to pay for our drawls. Maybe women should start paying for their underwear before they start complaining about how society doesn’t treat them fairly.

Bring them to justice!

Author: Lord Beardschlimmer Wilhelm Bartholomew III

Leading the charge against societal decay!