Postmodern Pick-Up Lines

For an ice-breaker with a relative stranger or a strange relative you can’t get a better start on a conversation that might actually get you to dip your stick than the good old canned line. But there’s this list of ten conventional classics will give you some lines to trace on and might even hold some deep-seated dRNA mate attractive properties. As with all recipes, instructions and advice work with caution and wear the right protective devices.

You never know who might be misinforming or trolling you, so don’t be a dork. Run it by your sister first?

1.A: I’m sorry

B. For what

C. (Change the subject like, ‘A lot of weather we’re having today, yeah?’)

2. What do you like better coffee or tea?

3. Which is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

4. Pardon I need a female opinion, is this shirt too loud? (Wearing obnoxious shirt. She confirms take it off.)

5. Do the carpets match the drapes?

6. My friends and I wanted to settle a bet we made. So I was wondering,”Do those legs go all the way up?”

7. Yo! Your body is banging. Can I bang it!

8. Do you screw your mother with that vaginaynay?

9. Excuse me, but haven’t we met before? Oh you’re that stripper my cousin had at his birthday party!

10. This may seem like a major coincidence but you have my dead grandmother’s eyes. I wonder if I can speak to her. (Wave your hand inches from her face.) ‘Mildred, are you in there?’

Win In Life With a Sexbot

There are three things every guy needs in life. Those three things are a cool ride, a cool pad, and a sexy and willing companion. Throughout the course of your life all three of these things will eat up a considerable chunk of your life savings. In this article Groin will mathematically show you how to get ahead in life in every regard financially, so that you can be sitting on piles of cash (or precious metals).

Having a place to live is expensive. If you own you own property taxes, home owners fees, maintenance, etc. If you rent there is a deposit and expensive monthly payments. The answer is to own a houseboat. With a houseboat like those in Moss Landing you get a pad with nice ambience, at half the price of a manufactured home, and docking fee like 400 bucks a month (including water and electricity). For you this is a WIN!

Now lets talk transportation. To win in life one must take risks! Motorcycles are cheap and risky. Thus you should ride a motorcycle and save on gas and stuff like that so that you can build your cash-pile.

Finally, we can talk about women. Women are great , but they are expensive. Long after the first expensive date, you owe her for birthdays, anniversaries, vacations, outings, and what have you. You will always be on the hook! And even if you have a ten inch dong and treat her like the Great Gatsby with riches, this will only make her more expensive. If you are poor or rich, she will use the legal system to get at you. Plus she will argue for hours on end.

The solution to this is to take out your credit card and order a sexbot for two thousand bucks. You can splurge for the other 1500 and order the CPU (brain) so she can talk and have a programmable personality. Yes you may owe interest on her and there could be some maintenance. But she will not argue back. No anniversaries. No birthdays. No expensive dates. She will never make you drive real far to meet her then get mad and you have to drive back. None of that! No jealousy. No asking ‘how do i look’ , or ‘send me a pic;’. And this will add to your mystique as you bring real women home for the threesome. You can refer to her as your ‘sexy shipmate’.

So there you have it. The answer to how to achieve success on the cheap. Simply buy a houseboat, ride a motorcycle, and have a sexbot for your companion and you will live to be healthy, wealthy, and wise!