Postmodern Pick-Up Lines

For an ice-breaker with a relative stranger or a strange relative you can’t get a better start on a conversation that might actually get you to dip your stick than the good old canned line. But there’s this list of ten conventional classics will give you some lines to trace on and might even hold some deep-seated dRNA mate attractive properties. As with all recipes, instructions and advice work with caution and wear the right protective devices.

You never know who might be misinforming or trolling you, so don’t be a dork. Run it by your sister first?

1.A: I’m sorry

B. For what

C. (Change the subject like, ‘A lot of weather we’re having today, yeah?’)

2. What do you like better coffee or tea?

3. Which is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

4. Pardon I need a female opinion, is this shirt too loud? (Wearing obnoxious shirt. She confirms take it off.)

5. Do the carpets match the drapes?

6. My friends and I wanted to settle a bet we made. So I was wondering,”Do those legs go all the way up?”

7. Yo! Your body is banging. Can I bang it!

8. Do you screw your mother with that vaginaynay?

9. Excuse me, but haven’t we met before? Oh you’re that stripper my cousin had at his birthday party!

10. This may seem like a major coincidence but you have my dead grandmother’s eyes. I wonder if I can speak to her. (Wave your hand inches from her face.) ‘Mildred, are you in there?’

Win In Life With a Sexbot

There are three things every guy needs in life. Those three things are a cool ride, a cool pad, and a sexy and willing companion. Throughout the course of your life all three of these things will eat up a considerable chunk of your life savings. In this article Groin will mathematically show you how to get ahead in life in every regard financially, so that you can be sitting on piles of cash (or precious metals).

Having a place to live is expensive. If you own you own property taxes, home owners fees, maintenance, etc. If you rent there is a deposit and expensive monthly payments. The answer is to own a houseboat. With a houseboat like those in Moss Landing you get a pad with nice ambience, at half the price of a manufactured home, and docking fee like 400 bucks a month (including water and electricity). For you this is a WIN!

Now lets talk transportation. To win in life one must take risks! Motorcycles are cheap and risky. Thus you should ride a motorcycle and save on gas and stuff like that so that you can build your cash-pile.

Finally, we can talk about women. Women are great , but they are expensive. Long after the first expensive date, you owe her for birthdays, anniversaries, vacations, outings, and what have you. You will always be on the hook! And even if you have a ten inch dong and treat her like the Great Gatsby with riches, this will only make her more expensive. If you are poor or rich, she will use the legal system to get at you. Plus she will argue for hours on end.

The solution to this is to take out your credit card and order a sexbot for two thousand bucks. You can splurge for the other 1500 and order the CPU (brain) so she can talk and have a programmable personality. Yes you may owe interest on her and there could be some maintenance. But she will not argue back. No anniversaries. No birthdays. No expensive dates. She will never make you drive real far to meet her then get mad and you have to drive back. None of that! No jealousy. No asking ‘how do i look’ , or ‘send me a pic;’. And this will add to your mystique as you bring real women home for the threesome. You can refer to her as your ‘sexy shipmate’.

So there you have it. The answer to how to achieve success on the cheap. Simply buy a houseboat, ride a motorcycle, and have a sexbot for your companion and you will live to be healthy, wealthy, and wise!

Pimp’s Corner: How to Date 3 or 4 Women at the Same Time

fist ps2 & dawning vid 011
Today we are speaking with a former pimp on some general ideas about modern dating:
Most people assume you have to be rich to date three or four women simultaneously. That is a myth. In fact, being rich can often be an obstacle to dating more than two women at once. Reason being that the richer you are, and the larger your living space is – the more she will cling to you like a super-glued suction cup – and will try and move in with you or extort you by any means necessary. First off, practically speaking, you will need some pathos of distance (psychological and intellectual mystique) and some actual (physical ) distance for this to work. They need to live across town at least, so there’s no mix-ups and women bumping into each other. They will never submit to this righteous form of de facto polygamy in this feminist era. But you are smarter than that, and you can play their desire to conquer you into something you play off of while making yourself more mysterious about your true intentions. If you are not marrying them then you are a free man. It is your God-given right to have some damn fun, especially sexually, before you settle on getting pinned down or married. Have fun now, you can repent later (once you are married).
Now this doesn’t mean you act like a total jerk (all the time) with them. You will have still have to buy them all the perfunctory gifts, plus some extra truly thoughtful ones (to keep them somewhat contented). So it is important that you get used to thrift shopping for antiques on the cheap and that kind of thing. A thoughtful old leather bound romance book, a silver necklace tax free from the goodwill. Chicks dig that shit. And it’s cheap. You’re gonna have to take them to eat a lot. You can keep your bill down by ordering water for yourself instead of soda or beer . That makes them think you are health conscious too . And they will maybe not spend so much of your damn money and drinks and stuff hopefully then.
We’re going to talk a lot more in the next few articles about how and where to meet these bitches in the first place. How to make them squirt in bed. Bedroom tricks . How to make them sexually obsessed with you so that basically you are like natural heroin to them. We’ll get to all that in the next few articles. You got to be fast at sneaky texting to the other women, while they are in the bathroom and all that too. We will cover how to keep your bitches from getting fat. Cheap places to take your ho to nail her. Cheap date ideas. So there’s a lot to it. Stay tuned.  –Slick