Sully – A Boring Film About Mustaches

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Going¬†into this film you already know that they land the plane safely. The plane doesn’t even nosedive or anything, it just glides onto the Hudson. The plot heads to a pointless bureaucracy type deal (welcome to America). Me personally – I’ve experienced a 10 thousand foot straight drop in an airliner. And I will tell you its much more exciting than this piece of shit poor excuse of a movie displays. The freggin’ foodcarts went flying down the aisles. Stewardesses went flying 30 feet back and hit their heads and got knocked out. Kids threw their hands up in the air and yelled “Woohoo!” – as if on a rollercoaster. But not in this film –
what you get in this film is a lot of close-ups of nicely groomed mustaches.

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Tom Hanks grew out his mustache a lot for this film. And Aaoron Eckhart ( or however you spell his over-rated name) also did a lot of mustache grooming for this film. I guess that since they put so much dedication into their mustache grooming that I am supposed to start feeling all patriotic when I watch this movie/ But instead it makes Americans look like a bunch of spoiled pussies who make a big deal out of a wimpy plane landing.
Also duly noted is the fact that the main character (Hanks) spends half the movie on his cell phone with his wife. I got to love this trend of having to watch main characters make lengthy boring cell phone calls after I have been told to silence my own. Don’t we go to movies to get away from phones??
Anyhow , mustache or no mustache, this film is a raging piece of donkey crud – certainly deserving of numerous Razzie awards. No doubt Hanks will get another undeserved Oscar instead. I would give this film negative nine-hundred-and-eleven stars. –“Deplorable” Steve

P.S. Don’t go pay to see this movie. The following link will give you your fill of mustaches for free instead!:¬† https://www.google.com/search?q=sully+pics&biw=1438&bih=655&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwigz-OJ66DPAhVW72MKHYnnAjkQ7AkINg&dpr=0.95

 

Author: Lord Beardschlimmer Wilhelm Bartholomew III

Leading the charge against societal decay!