Sexbots for the Troops

We at Groin strongly feel that our military deserves to have very high standards of living. Our troops put their lives and limbs on the line, disabling land-mines, jumping out of planes, and maintaining dangerous checkpoints throughout the world. It is only natural that those who are in harms way deserve some of the creature comforts of life while they are away from home. Battle is stressful, and being in the military is likely hard for spouses who are away from each other while at war. Latey, there have been lots of negative headlines regarding troops and sexual misconduct. There is a Marines photo quasi sex harassment case on the one hand:

Instagram is the latest nexus of the Marines photo sharing scandal

And reports of increased sex assaults at military academies also coming out:

http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/sexual-assaults-increased-two-three-military-academies-n733966

All of this reflects badly on our nation. There is a simple answer though. The answer is sexbots. And before you say, “that’s ridiculous’ – consider the fact that the word hooker originated from General Hooker, a Northern¬†General who brought a band of whores while en route to battle. The purpose was to reward his troops, keep morale up, and keep the troops more focused on battle instead of jostling for girlfriends. So there is historical precedent.

Sexbots would have the added benefits of these sex harassment and assault claims going way down. That would be beneficial to the overall image and morale of the troops. Meanwhile the troops would not technically be cheating on their spouses while away, nor spreading STD’s. We, the staff at Groin.com, urgently and humbly request that the Pentagon authorize discretionary spending funds towards the creation of the world most advanced fleet of sexbots. This must be done as soon as possible. USA cannot lose its technical edge and must harness all the nation’s creative powers, including the best minds at Northrop, Raytheon, and the like, to step boldly in the 21st century – and to start providing quality sexbots to our boys in the armed forces at the soonest possible date.

Author: Col. Wilhelm Bartholomew III

Leading the charge against societal decay!