Everything in the human world is a contract.
A contract takes the form of I give you x in exchange for y.
Sex is a contract. You think it is offered freely; it never is. You’re going to pay with your dollars, your self-esteem, or through sticky moral situations. Or you may just burn out your soul.
When you make the contract clear, everyone wins.
When you leave it up in the air? Then the first person to play scumbag wins:
Here’s how a scenario like that played out in real life. Jody (not her real name), a 32-year-old account manager for a major New York ad firm, decided to speed things along with her boyfriend two years ago by getting pregnant without telling him. “It’s not about trapping the guy,” Jody says. “That’s kind of old-fashioned. Yeah, you want him to be into it, but there are other ways to get a guy to commit. If you’re smart and in a good relationship, it’s just about the fact that you want a kid.” Even in her circle of young, urban, and gainfully employed friends, Jody says, this particular brand of subterfuge isn’t exactly condemned the way one might expect. In fact, it’s sort of, well, normal. “I see and hear people talk about it, and I understand. I get it,” she says, “and I don’t even think it’s that manipulative. It’s more like, ‘Hey, the timing is right for me. I got pregnant—oops! Well, it’s here, let’s have it.’ I think that’s more the way it is now than it was back in the day when you had to marry someone before you got pregnant. Marriage doesn’t matter now.” – Details
If you fathered the kid, society is going to expect you to pay for it. Even if you win in court against a woman who does this, what about the child?
Are you going to just pretend it didn’t happen? Maybe grab a tire iron and bash its head in right there in front of the judge?
Of course not. By the time you get to this situation, everyone has already lost.
Here’s an alternative plan:
From the beginning, you make it clear what’s going on.
“You know, Julie, I’ve gotten to know you and really appreciate you. I’d like you to be my girlfriend. Yes, that’s old-fashioned, isn’t it? But it’s there for us to know that we’re dating, which means that if this gets more serious, we have to talk about it. For now, it’s just dating. No kids, no marriage. We should revisit this in six month and see where we are.”
Now on to the part where I get in trouble: if you’re not looking for a girl to marry, you’re a dumbass and a loser.
The best women are marriage-minded because they are smart and can see that in the future, they will want to have families. It’s what healthy people do.
They get snatched up by the first men to mature, stop being children devoted to video games and beer, and provide for these women.
This means you’re in a race to find the good girls. If you blow it off, you’re going to be left with the sluts, drug addicts, mental health cases and burnouts.
There will also be a few girls in there who got abused by their dads and so are slow maturing like you. But they are very few and you can’t count on finding one.
Guys who date forever get scammed or end up alone because girls figure out they’re man-boys. Man-boys are betas who refuse to grow up and keep scamming their way through life, taking stupid jobs and blowing all their cash on pleasures. Man-boys have no plan. We’ve all been there and it’s a good stage to leave behind.
Sex is a contract. Marriage is the only contract that trumps it. If you want happiness in life, you want to find a girl you can marry.
Before you get to that stage, you need to make it clear to any woman you’re sleeping with what is expected of her, and what you’ll do.
If you leave those important issues unclear, she may get some insane notions in her head and act on them.