Self-pity

Self-pity is a hell of a drug.

It simultaneously convinces you that (a) it’s not your fault and (b) you can do nothing about it, so you might as well (c) get whatever reward you can, instead of trying to fix the situation.

It’s the ultimate affirmation of helplessness. It is like telling yourself that life sucks, and it cannot be better, thus the only “logical” course of action is increasing selfishness.

Unfortunately, the MRM often verges into pure self-pity. The MRAs who respect themselves are the ones talking about making marriage functional again, making men and women understand each other, and setting up a relationship of complementary roles.

Those are the sane ones, and they’re a minority. The rest are outraged at them. The majority of MRAs want to continue drugging themselves on the sweet opium of self-pity, and to stop struggling. They want to be told that an apartment, a do-nothing job and a lot of Z-grade vagina on the weekends is the best they can do in life.

The average men’s rights article can be summarized this way: women and men are not exactly equal, thus men always lose, thus go Fight Club and never get married and never do anything but be selfish about your own desires.

Interestingly, the average feminist article can be summarized this way: women and men are not exactly equal, thus women always lose, thus go Sex and the City and never get married and never do anything but be selfish about your own desires.

It’s not a stretch of the imagination to see that they’re the same thing.

What MRAs and feminists have in common is self-pity. They see society is broken, as we all know it is; instead of hastening the collapse or preparing for the aftermath, they’re making excuses for sitting on the sofa, picking their bellybuttons and lamenting how life has done them wrong.

I cannot think of a single less masculine activity.

Great heroes in history always welcomed adversity. When outnumbered ten to one, they said, “Is that the best you can do, punk?” and charged on ahead anyway. They knew dying with self-integrity was better than living with self-pity.

If you look at the people succeeding at life around you, you will see that they too have welcomed adversity. If it’s worth doing, it will be non-trivial; they know this and so they embrace the adversity that life casts their way.

Whatever happens in the future, this is for certain: most people will be oblivious and unprepared but able to react. A few will have spotted the trend and prepared, and will triumph.

And then, down the street and in a basement, there will be the suicide watch of MRAs, re-assuring each other that it could never have turned out any way but bad, so have another (warm) beer and some very “masculine” tears.

12 Responses to “Self-pity”

  1. [...] Base [Injun]”Matt Parrott – “The Color of Capitalism”Vir – “Self-Pity”Johann Happolati – “People Aren’t Murdered Very Often“, “The [...]

  2. Jesse says:

    Self-pity is the natural response of people without dignity, which is what liberalism specializes in creating. In an effort to achieve liberty, liberals subvert any functional relationship between the individual and the authority structures he lives under. The result is an atomized world without value or purpose, where no one fits in anywhere.

  3. [...] to another site and what is the first thing i see? This; Self-pity is a hell of a drug. Self-pity | GROIN : Men's Rights and Men's Activism It simultaneously convinces you that (a) it’s not your fault and (b) you can do nothing [...]

  4. Leave it to someone who looks, writes and thinks like an “emo” (and even calls himself one)
    to decide that it all boils down to “self-pity” for MRA’s.

  5. Liz says:

    Interesting human biodiversity reading list:

    http://www.humanbiologicaldiversity.com/

  6. TheKajunQueen says:

    Very refreshing……I also saw this…..you go onto a dating site (guru) and they tell women that everything they do is wrong and that they should give up everything about themselves to make the man’s life better…..WHAT!?!?! Same on the male sites…..your very smart….I am tired of the whiners. Great read….Thanks!! <—Sorry for the repost and typo's, but I have a broken wrist.

  7. Matthew says:

    So I’m guessing the cutting didn’t work today?

  8. BubbaFLA says:

    Been reading the MRA sites regular for about a year now. I’d have to agree there’s some out there who are all “cry in their beer” types. But then again, they’re not really MEN are they? There’s also the PUA bullshitters whose only goal in life is to get shagged as often as possible by some young drunk thing. Once again, not MEN. However, without whining I’ll say that I’ve actually learned a couple things from these sites. Made my LTR a lot more workable and has also bettered my relationship with my daughter. Like most young women KajunQueen doesn’t get it at all. Give up what? Your chance at a college degree? Go for it! Don’t care at all. Ready for my daughter to go should she choose. She knows, however, that the only thing I’m willing to pay for is a STEM degree, certain business degrees or something in the medical arts. Nearly all else is modern, relativistic BS. Give up your chance for a fulfilling career? Once again, go for it! Just don’t whine later that you still “feel” like something’s missing in your life when you’re past 35, single and childless. Recognizing our biological and psychological differences is a good start on making a LTR work. Putting a voice to the charade that’s modern divorce is a force for good. Your “average” article is one I have yet to come across so I’m doubting you’ve done much research at all before posting this. But I’m sure with this article and that “purty” face you’ve got the girls (not WOMEN) are all flocking to say “You da man!”. You’re not and won’t be until you stop looking like a tranny, man up for a woman and provide her and your progeny a safe, loving, disciplined home.

  9. Bob Ray says:

    Been feeling down lately and reading this has helped. Great blog.

  10. Chicago says:

    First I don’t think that feminism and the MRM are as similar as the author suggests, for example feminism is all have self pitty and then buy things, women call this retail therapy, this perpetuates society. Men on the other hand may have self pity but they don’t buy things, and since they are also not in a relationship with/supporting a women who buys things men engaging in self pity does hasten the fall of civilization or what ever nonesens you said.

    Secondly I take offense at one of the coments.

    “Been reading the MRA sites regular for about a year now. I’d have to agree there’s some out there who are all “cry in their beer” types. But then again, they’re not really MEN are they?”

    Who are you to define what it means to be a man? I guess for you being a man means working a dangerous job so that you have the wonderful oppertunity to die young? Sorry if I don’t live up to your ideal of masculinity becasue I don’t want to die any time soon.

  11. Ian says:

    You are fucking awesome. it’s exactly what I observe although I, myself have gone down the self pity hole. without calling myself an MRA but after a women’s studies class which I can only describe as pro women anti men propaganda with stating only problems and no solutions – just look at how bad it is for us out there. Then I go outside expecting a sexist version of the movie dawn of the dead (women are getting raped hit and grabbed everywhere I go) but all I whitnessed was sunshine and happy healthy human interaction. I hated that class, I hated that teacher and I hated the incredibly one sided blog posts my teacher had us make on the class web site where I would see male descriptions as salivating dogs, etc. It sucked.

    Outside of all that, you are right, so right. This self pity finger pointing contest should stop. I hope you write more.

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