Resident Evil Finale Slays

Ok, let’s get this out of the way… most video game movies suck. “Assassin’s Creed” is terrible. Both “Hitman” movies are disappointing. The “Street Fighter” movies are bad. This is all the more reason to give a small expression of gratitude to the “Resident Evil” series since, while they are perhaps not the best movies, are consistently entertaining.

We here at the Groin.com staff did not watch the Super Bowl because we can’t stand the New England Patriots and overhyped media events. In protest, we went to see “Resident Evil: The Final Chapter” instead. How is it? Well, I actually really liked it. The film is non-stop action and gore and there is at least an attempt at a coherent plot. Basically, Milla Jovovich as Alice has 48 hours to save what’s left of the world. In order to accomplish this goal, she will have to overcome zombies, demons, dragons, monsters, mutants, clones, evil computers, and lasers, The production values are really high and the pace is brutal. The biggest argument in favor of this series though is Milla’s ability to convince us she can kick serious ass, coupled with director Paul W.S. Anderson’s sense of humor. He knows this isn’t Shakespeare, so he keeps the schlock coming with a wink and a smile. It’s really a blessed relief to the audience as opposed to, say, the awfulness of Uwe Boll’s films or the inflated, dim seriousness of “Assassin’s Creed.”

 

The series also deserves credit for starting out (in 2002) before zombies became popular, and for introducing the concept of the fast-moving zombie. Will this be the final chapter? Hard to say, but this has been a surprisingly cool series, much better than “Underworld.” Be sure to catch this flick before it leaves theaters; it’s bloody good!  –CoolAC

Author: Lord Beardschlimmer Wilhelm Bartholomew III

Leading the charge against societal decay!