Postmodern Pick-Up Lines

For an ice-breaker with a relative stranger or a strange relative you can’t get a better start on a conversation that might actually get you to dip your stick than the good old canned line. But there’s this list of ten conventional classics will give you some lines to trace on and might even hold some deep-seated dRNA mate attractive properties. As with all recipes, instructions and advice work with caution and wear the right protective devices.

You never know who might be misinforming or trolling you, so don’t be a dork. Run it by your sister first?

1.A: I’m sorry

B. For what

C. (Change the subject like, ‘A lot of weather we’re having today, yeah?’)

2. What do you like better coffee or tea?

3. Which is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

4. Pardon I need a female opinion, is this shirt too loud? (Wearing obnoxious shirt. She confirms take it off.)

5. Do the carpets match the drapes?

6. My friends and I wanted to settle a bet we made. So I was wondering,”Do those legs go all the way up?”

7. Yo! Your body is banging. Can I bang it!

8. Do you screw your mother with that vaginaynay?

9. Excuse me, but haven’t we met before? Oh you’re that stripper my cousin had at his birthday party!

10. This may seem like a major coincidence but you have my dead grandmother’s eyes. I wonder if I can speak to her. (Wave your hand inches from her face.) ‘Mildred, are you in there?’

Author: Lord Beardschlimmer Wilhelm Bartholomew III

Leading the charge against societal decay!