Bad Moms (2016). R 100 min (Comedy)
I went to see this comedy with an open mind. Its from the writers of The Hangover Series, which is very hit of miss. I knew going in there could be a lot on man-hating in the film, due to the nature of the storyline. However, I wanted to see if it was a raucous Animal House styled comedy, or more of a PC thing like the recent Ghostbusters reboot (which I reviewed recently). The lead actress Mila Kunis is from Black Swan and Jupiter Ascending. She has a nice face. She really isn’t very funny though. And she isn’t really hot enough to hold my attention in a lead role. Everything tends to seem scripted in modern comedies like this. There never seems to be any improvisation, and the conversations never seem very fluid, but rather perfunctory and situational.
This flick started off okay. Kathryn Hahn is funny as the raunchy slutty MILF sidekick. Then the plot starts to kick in. It revolves around her bitching about her part-time job and how hard it is to drop kids off at school (when the kids could probably bicycle there anyways). PTA meetings are so hard. Why can’t the state just take care of her brats all day and night and leave her alone – so she can drink and do her nails? Movies like this always spend too much screen time with annoying unfunny child actors. The kids are either dopey or complainers these days. I miss movies like the original Vacation (with Chevy Chase) or Adventures in Babysitting where the child actors were actually entertaining. The film The Sitter with Jonah Hill from about 5 years ago was the last decent comedy with kids in it that I can remember.
I started to get uncomfortable when every white guy or female in the movie is lame/stupid/evil and every authority figure (the principle/ the marriage counselor) is black . Next the lead disses ska music, but we get slow motion “wow so cool” shots of her with rap and dance music constantly. And drinking is glamorized throughout the film. The worst part is we were an hour ten minutes through the film and there were still no female breasts yet, but guys were showing off their chest two or three times. Also the lady berates her son as lazy and dislikes every male in the film except for a Latin guy who first appears with a pink backpack on . I was able to watch about one hour and ten minutes of this film before I became nauseous and had to leave. Luckily I got the early bird special and didn’t pay full price for this estrogen manic film. It was too PC. – Steve C.
One of the more important parts that is often over-looked is taking the proper pictures of your bitch. These girls really enjoy this kind of shit. So make the best of it. Take them and buy them some decent looking new lingerie and help them find the proper color. Make sure their hair isn’t in front of their eyes. They think that’s sexy but its not. They need to smile in the pic, that’s important. The serious look makes them look psycho. For this occasion its best to get a hotel room up high. They ought to have a drink or two first. A cellphone cam is boring. At least get a cheap digital camera or something at least, if not something more professional. Natural lighting will always be best. So get a higher up floor so you can open the blinds. Look out for mirrors. Nobody wants to see her pimp in the background. If you must use light bulbs then keep them behind the camera for the most part and try and distribute the light evenly. Get any cheap looking cluttery stuff like pictures and ugly bedspreads the hell out of their. Family pictures in the background would be the worst. People frankly prefer they not have tats. But they don’t want them hidden either. She shouldn’t act like she is hiding anything basically.
Some other tips are that if there’s a shower with enough lighting or a fireplace with track-lights you are even more set for a vintage shot. And if she is down to go hiking, a slightly off the trail in a nice state park makes a nice outing, plus gets you the best lighting.
There are a few basic shots you need to get of your bitch for her listing. Front standing, back standing, doggy, close-up (pink shot) , face shot (smiling with hair back), side (both sides). Usually by the time you are done with these shots the girl will jump your bones like a wild animal and try and show you how many insane positions she knows. Or if she is submissive she will let you hammer her until she has to cover her own face with a pillow to muffle the screams of ecstasy. Here is an example of some pics I took of one of my past bitches which were pretty good overall for an average pimp. Overall, I would say taking these type of pictures is very rewarding for both you and her, and it adds a tool to your game. –Slick
Today we are speaking with a former pimp on some general ideas about modern dating:
Most people assume you have to be rich to date three or four women simultaneously. That is a myth. In fact, being rich can often be an obstacle to dating more than two women at once. Reason being that the richer you are, and the larger your living space is – the more she will cling to you like a super-glued suction cup – and will try and move in with you or extort you by any means necessary. First off, practically speaking, you will need some pathos of distance (psychological and intellectual mystique) and some actual (physical ) distance for this to work. They need to live across town at least, so there’s no mix-ups and women bumping into each other. They will never submit to this righteous form of de facto polygamy in this feminist era. But you are smarter than that, and you can play their desire to conquer you into something you play off of while making yourself more mysterious about your true intentions. If you are not marrying them then you are a free man. It is your God-given right to have some damn fun, especially sexually, before you settle on getting pinned down or married. Have fun now, you can repent later (once you are married).
Now this doesn’t mean you act like a total jerk (all the time) with them. You will have still have to buy them all the perfunctory gifts, plus some extra truly thoughtful ones (to keep them somewhat contented). So it is important that you get used to thrift shopping for antiques on the cheap and that kind of thing. A thoughtful old leather bound romance book, a silver necklace tax free from the goodwill. Chicks dig that shit. And it’s cheap. You’re gonna have to take them to eat a lot. You can keep your bill down by ordering water for yourself instead of soda or beer . That makes them think you are health conscious too . And they will maybe not spend so much of your damn money and drinks and stuff hopefully then.
We’re going to talk a lot more in the next few articles about how and where to meet these bitches in the first place. How to make them squirt in bed. Bedroom tricks . How to make them sexually obsessed with you so that basically you are like natural heroin to them. We’ll get to all that in the next few articles. You got to be fast at sneaky texting to the other women, while they are in the bathroom and all that too. We will cover how to keep your bitches from getting fat. Cheap places to take your ho to nail her. Cheap date ideas. So there’s a lot to it. Stay tuned. –Slick
As a man, you may think you have two options. But you really only have one. You may think you have the choice of whether to be a single, bachelor ; or to have a “relationship”, which basically means NO PRIVACY and NO FUN outside of her.
In truth, that first option does not really exist. Lets say you date two or three women. You assert your right to privacy, since you are not married anyways. No matter how many fancy dates and beautiful scenic paradises you take her to, no matter how many orgasms you give her (pro-tip: the more you give her the worse she will treat you…) inevitably there are primary questions continually and annoyingly asked of you, the obvious being the classic line: “Will you be my boyfriend?” which reflects a high school-like mentality. Followed by a) Are you seeing anyone else? b) (the germaphobic classic) How can I be sure you wear a condom with someone else?
I should mention that if you and they were in position to get married (financially and getting along well enough) then that’s great. Go for it. Personally I do not see a lot of well-balanced single women out there, who have a steady job and are financially solvent and of sound and calm mind. Beyond that, I recognize that most marriages end in divorce and child custody crap. And that society always sees the man as the bad guy if the women becomes distressed, even if she is a known drama queen etc. Also I do not appreciate the fact that the government taxes married people a bunch, nor that the government feels the need to certify the marriage and that type thing. Also, fancy wedding ceremonies are a waste of hard earned cash and money could go to better and less frivolous causes, like liquor or the poor.
But as men we still want sex and companionship. We just don’t want to be stuck in a sex life with someone who has our balls on full surveillance lock-down (going through our cell phone texts and emails ) nor do we want to be romantic with someone who has been giving us a hard time all day. The time has come to get real about this stuff. This is the 21st century. and we are stuck dealing with these women who are stuck in Disney-entranced Victorian era day-dream fiascos about princesses and frogs; meanwhile ISIS is taking over the world, and the men are trying to get sex-changes to switch to the winning team in the sex war , or they are going gay on Craigslist. Enough of this non-sense already. It is time for the SEXBOTS TO ARISE!
We need to design our own personal sexbots. Look at this guy in Hong Kong who designed his own sexbot. Look at how happy he looks! Do you think he is having to spend his nice sunny, summer day arguing with HIS significant other. HELL NO! He is getting it in deep and funky with his own personal home-made sexbot. And she is loving every minute of it – and begging for more. He has the right idea. By taking the initiative and keeping one step ahead of the government and the opposite sex he has shown us a clear path to virtue and happiness. There are a few sites in the US where you can buy a premade one for roughly 10k. Be sure to buy the Republican model. That company also rents them out for parties at $300 per hour, but you are responsible for buying and changing the skin.
The key to the future with sexbots is to keep them out of the hands of the government. The government will want to regulate them to prevent a Pandora’s Box from being opened. When the government goes to regulate sexbots they will likely hoard them and tax the Jesus out of them. Ultimately the government will try and use sexbots to pacify the growing dissent in the population. It will be a new form of Soma. They must be kept free. – Col. Wilhelm Bartholomew III