GROIN

When I was a kid, I was baffled by the big colorful advertisements that told us about wonderful free things. Come on in and get a toaster, free — kids eat free — or even a free toy at the bottom of the box. Free TV shows, free contests, free prizes.

Through some prodding by a parent and a little independent thinking, it soon dawned on me that none of these things were free. They were inducements, and I had to make a purchase or spend a whole bunch of time doing dumb stuff to get them. And even then, there was no guarantee.

Since then, I’ve thought a lot about “free.” Nothing occurs without a primary cause except perhaps the universe itself; every thing that you might give away free had to be created. As a result, there must be some kind of trade.

Often however you have to wait decades to see what the price is:

Today I am 39, with too many ex-boyfriends to count and, I am told, two grim-seeming options to face down: either stay single or settle for a “good enough” mate. At this point, certainly, falling in love and getting married may be less a matter of choice than a stroke of wild great luck. A decade ago, luck didn’t even cross my mind. I’d been in love before, and I’d be in love again. This wasn’t hubris so much as naïveté; I’d had serious, long-term boyfriends since my freshman year of high school, and simply couldn’t envision my life any differently.

Well, there was a lot I didn’t know 10 years ago. The decision to end a stable relationship for abstract rather than concrete reasons (“something was missing”), I see now, is in keeping with a post-Boomer ideology that values emotional fulfillment above all else. And the elevation of independence over coupling (“I wasn’t ready to settle down”) is a second-wave feminist idea I’d acquired from my mother, who had embraced it, in part, I suspect, to correct for her own choices. – The Atlantic

Liberation is slavery if by being “free” you are being cut off from something you need, in exchange for something you do not. Sexual liberation benefited commerce, and the women and men who thought they got something “free” in fact simply switched obligations.

Instead of owing their time to family and a community, as “free” women they became products. Commerce thrived because suddenly the labor pool was twice as big, and lonely women spend long hours at the office. Because they are perpetually single, they also need grooming products and personal items for many more years than before.

In fact, everyone profits. The doctors get to capitalize on a new spate of sexual diseases. Psychologists get fat on the payments from lonely women. Twice as many apartments are rented, twice as many cars sold, twice as many tickets paid, more clothes and other items bought! It’s a free-for-all… for the sellers and employers.

For individuals, not so much. Instead of moving into comfortable families and having a sacred role, women view the family as slavery and so end up working office jobs their whole lives, never having a stable family, and if they do reproduce, creating alienated, distrustful and scornful children.

By abandoning our biological roles, which arose out of millions of years of evolution and are thus the products of more thought than all the people alive today can complete in a lifetime, we have “freed” ourselves from what we want, which is what is a sensible way to live.

Instead, we settle for the convenient and are worse off for it:

New research out of the U.K. says women who met their partners while on the pill are less sexually satisfied.

For the study – published in the Oct. 12 issue of Proceedings of the Royal Society B – researchers surveyed 2,500 heterosexual women with one child. The researchers asked the women about their relationship with their child’s biological father. About 1,000 of the women were taking the pill, while 1500 used no form of hormonal contraception.

The study found that women who took the pill were less sexually satisfied, found their partners less attractive, and were more likely to be the one to initiate an eventual separation. – CBS

Hormonally compromised women are “free” from biology, but they forget biology exists because it is logical, and that institutions like marriage have evolved over thousands of years to find the best possible way of dealing with the need to reproduce.

When we muck around with this, we produce people who are cut loose from purpose. That is the ultimate “free”dom; to have no purpose, and thus no “right” or “wrong.” Since there is no goal, you cannot fail to achieve the goal, and even more, you can get to a result and then claim that it was always the goal.

Freedom, or destruction of your purpose, resembles what a parasite does when it makes you ill or takes over your brain. It re-wires your purpose to its purpose, and then you do its bidding. You are now its slave, especially if it introduces slavery by calling it free, freedom or liberation.

People are easy to manipulate. First, you put an image into their heads and make it enticing. Start with: the struggles you engage in now and the losses you now take are not necessary. There is a way where you can have what you want without having to risk/work for it. Then tie your product to that.

In the case of sexual liberation, this required portraying marriage as miserable, men as awful, and child-rearing as a giant bother. Instead, be paranoid about death and in a panic, spend all of your life on yourself alone. But then the body and mind become a prison when you realize that without connection to something larger, such a life is meaningless.

Maybe marriage, fidelity, love, chastity and family-centric living had a purpose after all!

[It] seems like heterosexual monogamy really does form a much better basis for a functioning and equal society than soft polygamy or nullogamy, the system that ironically managed to stomp down the black America far worse than even the Klan ever could. This even for women, who the latter systems allow sexual access to alpha males, at least for a short time. However, these systems are simply not self-supporting, but require the generous welfare state that serves as a non-judgmental beta provider boyfriend for most women. And as everyone should know from the news, these days all welfare states are quickly running out of other people’s money. – The Fourth Checkraise

The end result of sexual liberation is that we turn marriage from being a safe harbor and comfort into an adversarial relationship. You know your spouse screwed around before you; you did the same. Why extend fidelity? It’s just a prison. That is, until it happens to you.

Yet if the French aren’t cheating more than others, they do seem more tolerant. 53 percent of those questioned by Gleeden said it was possible to cheat on your partner while still loving them, the highest rate for all countries.

{snip}

“With his wife he has projects of bringing up children, buying a house, creating a life. With an attraction to another young woman it’s not the same thing.” – The Local

So, researchers… is that why all those marriages are ending in divorce? Is that way people are still manic for love, and not finding it? By the way, commerce is doing just fine. And even in the progressive-enlightened-Utopia of sexual liberation, all is not well:

Still, in France’s macho society there remains a big difference between what men and women can get away with.

“French culture is hard on women who cheat,” says Vaillant. “The husband of a woman who cheats is ridiculed, even today.”

There’s a common sense underlying marriage and fidelity which we cannot quite dispense with. Instead we straddle the fence, and our balls hurt.

I will now undertake a subject few MRAs dare mention: the value of chastity, or of (a) loving only one woman and (b) not having sex like an indiscriminate bonobo.

Most MRAs are in victimhood mode. Their worldview is that since the West has decided to turn against winners, and champion loserness through equality and thus take revenge on those who rise above the herd, it’s time for men (traditionally perceived as being at the top of the hierarchy) to take revenge.

This revenge does not come in the form of fixing the problem. Instead, it’s compensation. You don’t get what you want; so instead, get a lot of whatever is left over. This means that instead of having what men crave, which is a sacred role for men and the appreciation of good women, you get lots of sex with female losers.

I’ll take a different path: experience numbs. The more you have a certain experience, the more you are dulled to it. This is the real reason most people loathe office work; it’s not so much boring in itself, but the repetition and lack of change and lacking of possible changed outcome is soul-crushing.

It’s the same way when you go to a party. You may remember the first ten names, but after that, you’re awash in so many similar memories that it all runs together. Soon you are numb to new names.

This is also one of the great challenges of life. You can’t find that “one best day ever” and repeat it over and over. The experiences of that day were not what made it great; it was your receptiveness to them, and the role they played in your life.

In other words, if you went out on your 21st birthday and went fishing with friends, got in a fistfight, drank until dawn and then fired bottle rockets at the sinking moon as dawn approached, it was the time more than the actions that made that day special. You can’t step into the same river twice.

So if you go out again and do the exact same stuff — fish with friends for twice as many hours, fight five times as many dudes, drink ten times as much and buy bigger bottle rockets — you can’t relive that moment. You are just going through the motions.

Sex is the same way. You can view it as an experience, in which the context defines its meaning, or you can treat it as a commodity, where more (and more convenient) is better.

If you want the best sex in history, you don’t find it by looking for sex. Instead, you look for the right experience: when you are open to love, finding someone who shares your vision, and coming together through a process of emotional negotiation and struggle to discover what you both find sacred and worth dying for.

That sounds more like love than casual sex, doesn’t it?

In a survey of 1,700 married couples, researchers found that couples in which one or both partners placed a high priority on getting or spending money were much less likely to have satisfying and stable marriages.

“Our study found that materialism was associated with spouses having lower levels of responsiveness and less emotional maturity. Materialism was also linked to less effective communication, higher levels of negative conflict, lower relationship satisfaction, and less marriage stability,” said Jason Carroll, a BYU professor of family life in Provo, Utah, and lead author of the study. – ABC

If you treat sex like a commodity, you’re treating it like money, where the amount matters but the experience is dead. Money is not the experience. It may be essential for it, and enable that experience, but you cannot create the experience with money. The same is true with the quantity of sex.

Those who think in this materialistic way miss out on what makes life valuable to us. We have a certain band of time in which we exist, and we want to make this time powerful by giving it context and thus meaning. Without something to work toward, it is empty repetition of experience.

Women crave security.

Ideally, they want to “marry up” — up in terms of strength, finances, clout, and intellectual capability. And this is reflected in a not uncommon female reaction. When a woman falls for a man whom she can look “up” to, she may say to him something such as “You make me feel safe” (I get this from female readers all the time — sometimes one article is all it takes). And from a Darwinian standpoint, this makes sense. For, if a woman’s children are to survive, she must secure a safe environment for them.

The cocoon of safety in which she traditionally was most comfortable — and it is her primary focus — is the family. And it is by necessity a little nanny state; it is, quite appropriately, a very socialist, top-down, command-control institution. Its closest thing to the “people,” the children, are controlled and afforded relatively few freedoms; the family is not democratic. And it is a communal place, where everything is shared and the “people” are cared for by the “government” (the parents). To a great extent, its operating principle is “From each according to his means; to each according to his needs.” – American Thinker

This is another form of confusing experience for quantity: what makes a woman feel safe is knowing she is with a man who is heading in the right direction. Not surprisingly, the converse makes men feel their lives are being lived well. This is a path to happiness: context, meaning and choice.

Every choice means a sacrifice. To choose one item out of ten is to cut out the other nine; to choose one path through life is to obliterate the others. You can choose either quality, or quantity, but not both. The two are paths that lead away from each other.

MRAs like to believe that quality is dead to them, and there is no hope, so they might as well pour themselves another drink, play more video games, and bang a few more confused and abused women in order to feel like they’re on top. It’s victimhood and dominance in one.

Of course, this becomes unsatisfying. After a while, you can’t tell the difference between women and the act has grown repetitive and stale, but your socially-programmed male pride will not let you admit that. So instead you become more hollow and more like a victim of society, not a male leadership figure.

Chastity is controversial now. Our witless herd culture views it as the opposite of fun. After all, to be chaste you have to give up on quantity, in order to choose quality. What if the trend-culture got it exactly wrong, and the path to quality is the path to joy, and quantity leads only to tedium?

When I first differentiated between nihilism and fatalism (what Nietzsche calls “nihilism”), people really objected and accused me of being illiterate and un-educated and all the usual stuff.

Over time it has become clear however that I was more correct than I realized. Nihilism would reject all values; fatalism rejects all but the self as a defensive mechanism against a world it considers bad. Inevitably this view also invades the self.

The past few weeks have shown me how crazed and suicidal people of the modern persuasion are. While they are mostly liberal, it occurs on a more basic level than that: they are defensive narcissists who engage in altruistic behavior to manipulate others and protect themselves. Signs of the collapse.

In fact, these modern people are equal parts self-pity and white-knight, because they are forever seeking reasons to feel good about themselves. They know it’s all artificial, and all for show, but they want to be “uplifting” to give themselves a few moments of joy before doom. They are essentially suicidal.

You can see this very clearly in how these women react:

Women in a Brooklyn neighborhood on edge over a spate of sex attacks are being told by police that wearing skirts and dresses might not be a good idea.

The surprising message from the NYPD is not being taken well.

“I think that women should be able to wear whatever they want,” said Theresa Troupson, a Park Slope resident. “I don’t think that they should be held responsible in any way for the actions of criminals.” – NBC New York

These people literally have reversed mentation.

A normal thought process looks at the world and tries to find rules of how it works, and to use those rules to adapt and achieve a positive result. Behavior conforms to the situation.

This modern mentality is the exact reverse. The situation is forced to conform to the desires of human behavior, which are increasingly based on what individual humans want to consider important, namely that we’re all equal which means each of us is OK because everything is OK. No standards means all are accepted.

You can imagine these women arguing with snakes, telling them not to bite, or complaining that the blast of freezing air from the north is oppressive.

They are living in this illusion that there will be something simple they can do to defend themselves against this predator, and that making the symbolic statement of being able to do whatever they want whenever they want wherever they want is more important than coming out alive.

A more sensible animal, feral and not self-conscious, would simply disguise itself with the required camouflage. It might even gently hint that such airy principles are the provenance of dying civilizations and their spoiled, egodramatic, neurotic and narcissistic people.

If you want to destroy a civilization, subvert its sense of value with fashion. That way, instead of wanting good things, the citizens want “exciting” things, and you can work around logic. There is no longer a right answer or even a way to assess one answer as better than another.

These false values are doubly destructive. First, they destroy any value that is comprehensible or logical; second, by becoming the new values system, they are defended by well-meaning idiots who thus subvert their own authority, driving people away from the concept of values at all.

Soon you have full-on anarchy, which translates to “the lowest common denominator wins, every time” because the frenzy of an anarchic society does not have time to stop and wonder about the best answer — or even a good one. It cares about what is socially fashionable in the moment, to the individual, and damn the consequences.

All of that sounds good — it is after all the most freedom you can ever really have — until you consider the long-term consequences and cost. The consequences are social chaos and a paranoid distrust of other people, even when or I should say especially when acting carefree and sociable, and the cost is having given up on a values system that will reward you for being good at anything.

In other words, anarchy rewards those who feel they need anarchy, which are generally the people who aren’t making it in a structured system, and are afraid of competence tests and responsibility. Anarchy is for those who want civilization without the responsibility of civilization.

There’s another problem to false values: they are a human construct. Some would call this a “social construct,” but that term has been murdered by leftists who apply it to biological realities like gender, intelligence, heritage, etc. so we no longer use it.

Since false values are a human construct, inevitably they fail.

Our recent recession for example is just a small failure, a taste of bigger future fails to come, that reflects our economic system discovering suddenly that the consumerist empire is based on idiots buying plastic crap from Wal-Mart.

Your fellow idiots would love to blame someone called “banksters,” which is a predictably stupid view: blame others for your problems. Bankers only get away with what they do because of a huge mass of credulous fools who are so intent on their pleasures and toy-buying that they don’t really care what happens in government, and by extension in the economy.

They approve corrupt leaders and moronic ideas by the bushel, and then blame “the bankers” when the economy collapses because ten million idiots mortgaged homes they couldn’t afford and then ran away when the bills rose.

Now look at what your fellow citizens are doing to further ruin your life:

Women are jumping into the sack faster and with fewer expectations about long-term commitments than ever, effectively discounting the “price” of sex to a record low, according to social psychologists.

More than 25% of young women report giving it up within the first week of dating. While researchers don’t have a baseline to compare it to, interviews they have conducted lead them to believe this is higher than before, which increases the pressure on other women and changes the expectations of men. – NY Post

“Man, don’t be a buzzkill. What’s wrong with that? More sex for everyone! It’s like … sexual socialism! Free love. We all get laid. Rock on!”

Yeah, about that — you have to think like an economist. If they’ve devalued sex, that means they’ve also devalued you. That means that they’re going to have sex with idiots and then at some point, want you to marry them and put up with their neurotic slutlike selves while they bork out spawn.

The problem is, again, that they’ve devalued you. Expect to be divorced. But before that, expect that your spouse will never honestly give half a crap about your needs, will never respect you, and will sneak around behind your back doing all sorts of unseemly things. It’s like being a bonobo.

In addition, your sex life is now going to be terrible. With women giving it away cheaper than before, skill is no longer a premium. As a result, you’re going to see the girls you’d like to be with going home with douchebags 90% of the time, except that odd night when you get sloppy seconds.

Free love. Sexual socialism. More like: a total absence of sexual value. And that means a total lack of value to you, to relationships, to marriage, etc. which means you’re a fool if you even participate in one-night stands. It’s all toxic. That leaves you with escort services and a lonely long life ahead.

The sad fact is that plans based on illusions fall apart and leave wreckage in their wake. Take this sob-story for example:

Veronica’s husband, Jonathan, had a busy studio where he recorded and produced up-and-coming rap, hip-hop and R&B artists. But when the economy tanked, his clients ran out of money and he had to pawn his equipment to pay the bills.

The family downsized to an apartment in Long Beach, then a friend’s spare room in Corona. When the friend was evicted last year, Jonathan, 35, Veronica, 34, and their four children ages 3 to 8 were homeless.

The Longs squeezed into a room at the Union Rescue Mission, which has turned over two floors of its main shelter to families washing up on skid row. Soon after, Veronica found out she was pregnant. (She thought she couldn’t have more children because of a medical condition.) – LA Times

The L.A. T wants you to weep for these people.

I suggest you laugh at them. First, for getting into this hilarious debacle, and second, for allowing a national newspaper to expose their ridiculous predicament for everyone to see. It’s like fail squared.

A studio for up-and-com, rap and R&B artists? Give me a break. That’s weenie music. No man worth his time would listen to such obvious childrens’ music. But even more, it’s obsolete. At this point, we have too much of it. It’s easy to produce. The audience isn’t critical. And most importantly, it doesn’t give anything to the economy or culture — except false value.

Real value is a business that generates more wealth. If you have a prosperous farm, manufacturing concern or even something intangible like a software firm, you are contributing.

People who are pandering to the dead-end consumer audience, like entertainment products and hair care, are not actually contributing. They are moving money around in a way that is guaranteed not to produce more of it. Instead, it does the exact opposite, and fritters it away into the ghetto activities of a dying nation.

The connection between this and sexual socialism is that they use the same principle: you either concentrate your power and do something meaningful with it, or disperse it through pointless activity. The latter is a false value and is destined for total failure like all other illusions.

Giving someone “freedom” is a great way to tell them you don’t care about what happens to them.

Look, do whatever you want, OK? I don’t want to be at fault. It’s not my responsibility. Maybe I did learn a few things over the years, but you’ll figure it out (at your own cost).

It’s a subtle kind of sabotage: if you challenge me, I’ll tell you to go do whatever you want, knowing that most of the consequences will be bad.

By the time you figure out what has happened, I’ll be long gone.

This is approximately what the Baby Boomers did to us with “sexual freedom.” I’ll be Frank (Hi, Frank): we don’t need freedom in any capacity; what we need is a lack of impediments to doing what we need to do.

We don’t need sexual freedom either. We’d be happiest if we were all virgins until we met our desired partners, married and lived happily ever after.

But we’re part monkey, and the monkey-brain cannot resist low-hanging fruit. Lifelong happiness? Why would I want that, when I can get laid right now?

It’s parallel to what keeps most people poor, or at least poorer than they would be with some sensible financial management: why invest in the future, when I can have an iPhone/booze/crack/prostitute/Mercedes today?

In fact, the French Revolution of 1789 was an endorsement of such thinking. Don’t prove yourself; you’re already equal! All you have to do is help us kill these aristocrats, their children and their little dogs.

The idea behind “freedom” is that you do whatever you want, and the rest of us pay for the consequences.

That rest of us includes your children.

Natalee Holloway had just graduated from high school in the Birmingham suburb of Mountain Brook when she disappeared on a celebratory trip with classmates to Aruba. Her parents are divorced, and her mother, Beth Holloway, said she was unaware that her ex-husband had gone to court to seek a formal death declaration.

“I only learned about this when I was handed the citation by a process server while addressing a large audience at a conference in Georgia,” Holloway said in a statement issued through her Natalee Holloway Resource Center, which aids families of missing persons. “I don’t know what this is about, or why Dave is taking this action at this time.” – CNN

While other bloggers would call for the rape and murder of Beth Holloway, and I am sympathetic to the emotions behind those demands, I have a simpler request:

Let justice be served — convict her of her daughter’s murder.

This crazy woman ran around indulging her own drama, reveling in her failed marriage, and probably convinced her daughter that a strong independent woman needed to seek sex wherever she wanted it, on her terms.

Those are such nice words. Such pleasant thoughts — so incompatible with any reality. Not even in a fancy pants neighborhood do you want to behave that way. It’s mathematically illogical. You create opportunity and it will be filled, by someone.

Young women who get drunk and wander off with recent acquaintances, with the implicit assumption that sexual activity is going to occur, should not complain when they get raped. They asked for it, in the same way some guy who goes into the ghetto and flashes around a Rolex shouldn’t be too surprised when he gets jacked.

On paper, in the wonderful world of rights and freedoms, of course they should be able to behave this way. Freedom means you can do anything.

But it’s a laboratory definition, existing only in a moment. In the real world, there are moments before the act of freedom, and moments after (we sometimes call these “consequences”). You aren’t an anonymous virtual person who exists for ten minutes in an experiment.

You’re a part of the world, grounded in it and subject to its laws. That includes the obvious: if you make yourself a victim, someone will pluck that low-hanging fruit.

This country is overflowing with young women who, drugged on the dogma of freedom and feminism that says you should be able to do illogical things for temporary pleasures and yet not face any consequences, went off in the dark with men who then gleefully raped them, knowing the case would never come to trial.

And thinking practically, those cases never should come to trial. The line between consensual sex and rape is worn thin to the point of a single word at a crucial time, during an activity whose outcome is predictable most of the time. It makes no sense.

If you make yourself a victim, someone will victimize you. Even if you don’t make yourself a victim, your loneliness may drive you into the crazy zone:

TV meteorologist admitted Wednesday she’d made up claims of being repeatedly attacked by a stranger on the city streets, allegations that sparked an extensive investigation before police said she told them she’d invented the story to get attention.

Heidi Jones, who has worked for stations in New York and Texas and filled in on ABC’s “Good Morning America,” pleaded guilty to misdemeanor false-reporting charges.

Her plea deal calls for three years’ probation, continuing psychiatric counseling and 350 hours of community service — the amount of time police spent looking into her phony claims, prosecutors said. Jones is due to be sentenced Oct. 26. – CBS

This is why many rape claims are not pursued: the vast majority of rape claims are either false or unprovable. Morning-after regret takes a huge chunk of those.

In this case, a gainfully employed woman goes mad from loneliness, or maybe she was always crazy, and so she acted out to get attention.

Cynical observers would say that this is why women and children were treated as a contiguous group in more sensible years past. I say instead we should look to the nature of sexual freedom. It makes loneliness.

You can have all the penis you can get, but none of it is going to stick around. Just like with “freedom,” there is no proving of the self. Equal means you get given things and take them for granted.

“Freedom” implies that you can do anything, when really what you want is the ability to act in the range of things that are sensible, meaning they achieve the result you want.

While it’s not popular to be the fuddy duddy and say casual sex is a stupid idea, I’ll say it: casual sex provides temporary pleasure in exchange for having actual pleasure all life long.

It’s no wonder our women are so self-destructive now.

The entire game/PUA scene can be distilled to a simple concept: be appealing and keep the upper hand.

By the first, they mean be sexy, a word which then takes on different meanings in different contexts. What is sexy at a gathering of medical students may not be sexy at a gathering of sorority sisters at a fourth-tier college.

(If you’re one of those men who is intimidated by a woman having an advanced degree, stop here. I am as traditional as any of you, but in these times, one way a woman does sexy is being intelligent and motivated. If that threatens your sense of masculinity, it was never that strong to begin with.)

Sexy includes a certain degree of self-possession, which is also part of keeping the upper hand:

I never saw Alys again (and admittedly, I haven’t seen or heard from Gavin in forever), but I never forgot her. Over the years, I’ve tried to figure out what it was about Alys that made her so magnetic. Certainly she was very warm and friendly, but honestly, it was more than that. And I think I’ve finally figured it out:

She was confident. And confidence is, ultimately, sexy. BlogHer

Well, isn’t that typical modern palaver.

They distill it down to one word, and then repeat it again, as if it’s self-evident.

Confidence, in their view, is something you put on like an act. Not surprisingly, most PUA/MRA/game resources focus on how to fake it.

I can’t tell you how to fake it. Here’s how to produce it, as a cause (origin) not effect (appearance) in yourself:

1. Assertiveness. This makes you appealing. You show you have direction, standards, values and are open to the joy of life.
2. Purpose. You cannot have confidence without it. The source of assertiveness and confidence is that you are not aimless, hoping for a convenient lay, or beer, or whatever, to drift your way. You’re here for a reason, your time is valuable, and you intend to accomplish something.
3. Independence. For you to be confident, you need to not need anyone or anything. Can’t get your favorite beer; fine, either another drink or nothing is acceptable. What is not acceptable is whining. This shows you have no greater purpose in life than finding your favorite beer (loser).
4. Standards. You dress like a man, not a boy; you clearly have some behaviors that are off-limits; you have some form of career or other knowledge that shows you’re not just aimless. You have a moral compass and limits. Also, you’ll never settle for second-best. This forces everyone in the room to recognize you as apart from the hamsters.
5. Values. Here’s a hint to modern man-boys: values are not something reserved for fat conservative politicians who are busy nailing strippers/boys in airport bathrooms. Values are a real thing that pervade your life whether you accept it or not. Values say “this is what I stand for, based on the decisions I’ve made.” It’s good to be open-minded when you’re 15. After a few experiences, you should be learning. By the time you’re a man, you want to know what you think about the things you are likely to encounter, both in daily life and your profession. You need to know what you want out of life and be aware of all that humanity has learned so far. This means you take on values; this means “welcome to conservatism” because reckless individualism (liberalism) has no values. Man up and deal.
6. Joy of life. You need to show you enjoy things. This world is full of bitter husks who know what they hate (again, most liberals). You not only have standards, values and other restraints, but you have purpose — why? — because you like being alive. Because you believe in life. Because you don’t care if when you die your little spark vanishes like turning off an old cathode-ray tube. You’re here to rock hard and ride free for as long as you can.
7. Courage. Every person, man or woman, needs courage. Masculine courage takes the form of being ready to fix the situation, no matter what the cost (even death). Not only fix it, but make it better, and not only wait for a disaster, but actively be looking for chances to set things right, create beauty, smite down the weasely and raise up the promising. That’s vir and it is the topic of this blog. Masculine courage is not measured only in physical acts; it may be as simple as being the person to speak up and point something out, or guide others. It’s also physical courage. If you’re lazing in your favorite bar and al_Qaeda attacks, the man who will be seen as most manly is the guy who stands up right away and says, “Barkeep, take the women to the basement. All other able-bodied men, follow me. And if I get it, tell my wife/mom/cat I love her.”

These are not the easy answers.

Most PUAs/MRAs/gamists/etc are out there to pitch easy answers to fat, sloppy, undisciplined, fearful, indecisive, neurotic, selfish, lazy and dysfunctional hamsters. These hamsters constitute a huge audience and the object is to sell these idiots books or blog posts, or something, and make money from the grub they bring back from their entry-level technology jobs.

Life isn’t easy answers. Sometimes it is simple answers — if the boar attacks, kill the motherfucker — but it’s not easy answers. Easy answers are lazy answers. Lazy means selfish. Selfish means afraid of the world. If you forcibly exiled every selfish person you encountered, you’d not only eliminate a bad, but you’d leave life wide open for those who actually want to live it.

The easy answer is “act confident.” The truth is that you need to build up a basis for that confidence in order to have it, and as a result, you’ll be more than sexy — you’ll be a catch.