Smart Condoms: Pros and Cons

 Photo from Southwest News Service

Smart condoms have hit the market:

Smart condom i-Con will rate your sexual performance including ‘speed of thrusts’ and ‘girth measurements’

They measure your thrusts, girth, and calories burnt. Plus, they help detect some STD’s. This is all done through nanotech technology, which relays information from the condom to an app on your smartphone.

-Handy to have a rough idea of how many calories he is burning while having sex.
-Important to be able to detect STD’s.
-Able to compare performances and work towards goals using statistics.

-Ruin the mood possibly by fiddling with phone apps.
-Insecure men who cum too quick or don’t have girth could wind up embarrassed.
-Paying too much attention to statistics in bed might take the focus off of her pleasure by attempting to quantify things too much, rather than getting in tune to what pleasures her.
-Possibly too expensive for some and could become one more things guys have to spend money on their gf or date.

While it is possible that the negatives could outweigh the positives for some, this product could be a useful tool in terms of fighting STD’s and perhaps to help men keep in shape.

UFOlogist Dead – Black Puke

Like something out of a bad X-files episode , conspiracy theorist Max Spiers has died while having been abroad to give a speech at a UFO conspiracy convention. He had warned his mom that he might get whacked. He died at the apartment of a woman who was taken in for questioning. And his bros had seen him puking weird black fluids in large amounts. The guy was a healthy young man, yet died on the couch ‘of natural causes’, and without an autopsy. Just goes to show if you get too close to the truth – they whack you and you sleep with the fishes. It is commendable that this man always searched for the truth, and tragic that his life was cut short. From having read many cutting edge sites these days, it is common knowledge that (mostly female) counter agents are sent in the form of female venus fly trap sorts, to distract or even to kill lonely bloggers and conspracy theorists, who make easy targets, since they are often isolated loners in their personal lives.  Yearning for companionship, they are often too quick to distrust in the abstract (against government) but quick to trust in-the-flesh.

Illuminati Oscars Ceremony

A week or two after right wing humorist Milo was thrown to the wolves by the left, it is very revealing that a convicted rapist was spotlighted and given the red carpet (or should I say red-light?) treatment at the Oscars.

While I do want to be clear that I think people deserve a second chance in society after having served hard time, it is very suspect that Hollywood chose to fawn and lord over an underclass member – who we then discover did 25 years for something unmentionable. I am fine with him being saved, but let him be saved in his church or in his community – not in the national spotlight of a  supposedly achievement based highly-esteemed awards ceremony.

Think about the hidden motive here. Whether its Michael Jackson or Roman Polanski – Hollywood / pop music always seems to be on the same sick side of things. Hollywood has a dark underside. Author Brett Easton Ellis , at least formerly part Hollywood elite, has been sounding the alarm on such things for years, by using fictionalized characters to convey what has been going on. To really understand the evil underbelly of Hollywood it is necessary to have an understanding of the occult, specifically the Illuminati. Incidents such as the sex offender being treated as royalty at the Oscars recently are by design, not by accident. You don’t let just any random street person touch famous stars (like Nicole Kidman’s hand with his lips for instance).  It was some sick form of ritual. Not a ‘mistake’.

Groin Workout

Scientists are saying what we at Groin have known all along. Sex is the best workout by far. It is the only workout which will get the entire body, including over 600 different muscles in one workout:

 chicks I filmed with in a gym-themed shoot 5 years ago.

It has been long known in the Far East that sex is the best way to get in shape and to stay in shape. Americans are overly focused on building stocky, bulky upper body muscle in the arms and chest. Using sex as a workout will work the body more evenly, by working the center (core muscles), legs, and back. It will keep you more limber. Meanwhile you are certainly getting a cardio workout too. There are some positions (like missionary with her legs up in the air – while you pin them back) where when she is getting off you get resistance weight training from her legs pushing against you. Or if the girl is petite you can pick her off the ground and fuck her while holding her (similar to lift a curlbar up and down motion).



5-10 minutes in each position works well for a 30-40 minute sex session. The foreplay part won’t burn too many calories. But she will need foreplay for the extended pounding you will give her. After the foreplay, I recommend   hammering her  for at least 5 minutes in missionary (ten minutes is preferable) with her on the bed and you standing. Start with missionary because it feels looser, so you will last longer. If you feel like you have to cum slow down your pumps and your breathing and switch positions for a break ( or return to foreplay). Go to spooning or side with leg over position and do 5 minutes there. After that go to doggy style for at least 5 minutes, then stay in her and roll her over on top of you to reverse cowgirl position. Back to doggy after that and then bust should be perfect. I do this all personally and I would say that I probably burn a gazillion calories in the process.


Tell your girl jokingly that this is your new workout and that you need to do this to her at least twice a day. She will tend to complain that you are using her as a sex object. And yes that is true, but there could be worse things – and she certainly is not being neglected. Personally I have a genuine human woman. But at times I definitely wish that I had a sexbot to do this workout with too. That way I could work out even more – without cheating!

Rare Earthshine Moon

pic from

Weird sliver moon next to super bright Venus tonight. Looks beautiful and strange. Never seen anything like that before . Am told its an ‘Earthshine’ moon. Slender crescent and the rest looks like a crystal ball. The Earth’s light is reflecting off the moon.

There was a lunar eclipse very recently (that I missed). Those I have seen before. This earthshine moon is much more remarkable looking.

Venus is also in a crescent phase right now. It is a time of year where multiple planets align with the moon.


Rush has a song called Earthshine:

Lifetime Achievement Award : Ted Prior

About two years ago a film buff friend of mine gave me “Deadly Prey” on Blu ray for my birthday. I had never heard of it but I watched it immediately and was very impressed. “Deadly Prey” is the best “Rambo” rip-off ever made, and also probably the best Bad Action film of all time.

The plot is about a super-ripped Vietnam Vet (played by Ted Prior, director David A. Prior’s brother) who is kidnapped while taking out the garbage. He ends up at a remote facility where he and other “contestants” are being hunted down and killed and must kill in response or die! One of the people in charge of this “game” is his old drill sergeant. And eventually the Vet’s family finds him.

That’s all the plot this movie has. Basically it is scene after scene of people getting killed in the goofiest ways possible, including grenades, knives, leeches, hand-to-hand combat by the always shirtless Ted Prior. So many people die (basically everyone except the hero!) that the film becomes a kind of Zen experience that you just have to kind of roll with. Just when you think it can’t get any crazier, the movie concludes with a scalping. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a scalping on-screen.

Basically, “Deadly Prey” is a much more fun version of “Missing in Action 2” and the later “Hard Target.” The somewhat poor picture and sound quality on the Blu-ray enhance the experience. This film is cheap but hilarious and action packed! The director also made a film called “Kill Zone” which is almost the same thing and also entertaining. Some of the many works of the director include “Killer Workout” and the long-awaited 2013 sequel “Deadliest Prey,” also starring Ted Prior. Both of these are available on Blu-ray. Sadly, David A. Prior died in 2015. Because his movies are so much fun, I am giving him a lifetime achievement award, in honor of his ability to make Great Trash. If you like Bad Action, check out these films!

Groin Academy Awards

Here are our choices for 2017:

Best actor: Jeffrey Dean Morgan Desierto

Best supporting actor: Jeremy Irons High-Rise

Best film: Desierto

Best actress: Helen Mirren Eye in the Sky

Best supporting actress: Rachel Weisz The Lobster

Best cinematography: The Shallows

Best screenplay: The Lobster

Best score: James Horner Magnificent Seven

Best director: Ben Wheatley High-Rise

No Cure For Wellness

No doubt you’ve heard a lot about the new movie “Split” with James McAvoy and how scary it is, and that is indeed an excellent film. But what about the OTHER great horror film out right now, “A Cure For Wellness”? The title is so strange and the marketing is so inept that I had no idea that it was even a horror film. But it is, and despite a plethora of Stupid Horror Film Decisions made by the protagonist, it is one of the best of the last few years.

The film follows a New York stockbroker (played by Dane DaHaan) who is sent by a top corporation to find out what happened to an executive who is at a wellness center in the Swiss Alps. This place is so secluded and so ornate that it seems weirdly inviting, but there are many problems with it, the most significant being that once you are there, you can never leave. Other problems include: 1. Dentistry that makes “Marathon Man” look progressive. 2. Septic tank therapy (remember “Altered States”?) 3. Eels everywhere, including the bathtub… Basically, this 146-minute film by Gore Verbinski (“The Ring,” “The Lone Ranger,” the first 3 “Pirates” films) is a cross between “The Wicker Man,” “Shutter Island,” “The Shining,” “Eyes Wide Shut,” “Crimson Peak,” and Stuart Gordon’s “Castle Freak.” Don’t leave early or you’ll miss an ending that might make Clive Barker and the late Ken Russell blush.

Jason Isaacs is serviceable as the villain, but Mia Goth (from “The Nymphomaniac Vol. 1”) steals the show as the fragile and frail but emotional and extremely sexy damsel in distress. Like last year’s “The Witch,” this film takes standard horror tropes in exciting new directions. Don’t miss it if you like intense horror; this film really scared me! –A.C.

Three Year Colleges

Groin has some very simple and practical solutions which will help the world recover from collapse. The first of which, is simply that college should be shortened from four years to three years. I know this may sound ridiculous too you, but the reality is that this is common sense.

There are many reasons. Lets start with the fact that you wake up every day and turn on the TV only to see disillusioned youth protesting and disrupting to the point of being de-facto quasi- rioting, not unlike in the film Cosmopolis. You see it today in America with the ‘Not My President’ protests nationwide (centered in DC and NY). If Trump is ‘Not Their President” – then maybe they should understand that it is ‘Not Their Holiday’ – and get their leftist heinies back to school/work. The real reason they are rioting is because they buy into the enslaving idea that they must indebt themselves greatly to the state in order for a superfluous leftist 4 year education. It is a road to nowhere.

‘Youth’ protests are a new worldwide phenom. That all started with the Arab Spring in Egpyt, and spread to the slums of France/London, and now we see it here in the states. When I went to UC Davis the Muslim Brotherhood came to the lunch quad with flags supporting Palestinian suicide bombers on a regular basis, whenever some shrapnel bomb would go off in Israel.

I had to take about 60 course to graduate from the UC ( I graduated in 2003). That is way to many courses. When you break down the four years of college you see that two years roughly are spent in the major and two years in the general ed./minor. Common sense dictates that students should have received sufficient general education in high school , and that much of general ed. in college is redundant, and results in more student debt. Student debts account for a large percentage of national GDP and pose a threat to economic stability for the nation – due to failed reimbursements. Another thing is that semesters take forever compared to the quarter system , almost as if the semester system was designed for vacations and protests.

Furthermore, colleges serve as indoctrination centers for leftist thought, they fail protect free speech for conservatives, and force the community to pay for controversial radical views to be propagated – views which the citizenry often do not agree with, by en large.

Savings from college being shortened to 3 years could be used to reduce the national and state debts, pay for other services (such as homeless shelters or mental health institutions – which could be handy for leftist students at a later date) help students focus on their major, help students save $, have students get 25% less exposure to leftist indoctrination, and last but not least – give less time overall for students to be loitering around campus (protesting). Idle hands are the devil’s playground. Let’s push them out into the real world so they can leave the ivory tower at an earlier date!

Empathy and Greed

Two of the most interesting films of the last 5 years were barely released and were met with polarized responses. These films, “Cosmopolis” by David Cronenberg and “Diana” with Naomi Watts as the princess, offer very different portraits of wealth and capitalism.


“Cosmopolis,” a 2012 film which stars Robert Pattinson in a tour-de-force performance as a young billionaire, is about the greedy excesses of the very wealthy, which is contrasted with the 99% desire to acquire some of that wealth while castigating him for his greed. The film follows Pattinson’s journey across New York City in his gigantic limo as he travels to the poor section of town to get a haircut. While in his limo, he has sex with several women, conducts business transactions, and gets his daily prostate exam. He also visits his wife, played by Sarah Gadon, who is even creepier and more disconnected from reality than he is.


Over the course of the film, Pattinson tries to connect with people and fails miserably. Eventually, Paul Giamatti turns up as the man who wants to kill Pattinson. Rather than a life-and-death struggle, though, the last scene plays like a love scene. The 99% (represented by Giamatti) meets the 1% and all hell breaks loose. Cronenberg has made a dark comedy about extreme wealth and about how the rich are disconnected with reality. The future depicted in the film (and the book by Don DeLillo) has come to pass, with a rich business man running the country and mass protests everywhere. The film repeatedly refers to the rat being used as a unit of currency, and that may indeed be where we are headed. “Cosmopolis” is one of the best films you’ve never heard of a dystopian black comedy about how society reveres and at the same time tries to destroy the wealthy; it’s a masterful film about greed.

“Diana,” a 2013 drama/romance that is also pretty obscure, paints an entirely different picture of the wealthy. Rather than equating them with rats, the film shows Princess Diana (played by Naomi Watts) and her lover Hasnat Khan (played by Naveen Andrews) try to use their wealth for good. Diana, for example, visits sick children in hospitals and (successfully) crusades against the use of land mines, while Hasnat is determined to keep working as a surgeon even though marrying Diana would make him famous and set for life. Ultimately, the couple is too empathetic; a little bit of selfishness might have saved their relationship. The film is interesting to watch and very sad because it shows how the paparazzi and the fame that Diana had to deal with ended up killing her. While she succeeded in using her wealth for good, her wealth still ended up killing her.

So basically, these two tragedies of the extremely rich both show how money is not, in fact, the most desirable commodity. Whether wealth is used with greed (“Cosmopolis”) or with empathy (as in “Diana”) it will kill you in the end. Although these two films were not big critical or box-office successes, they are a must-see for students of capitalism and lovers of intelligent films. – A.C.