North Korea: Save or Shit-Can?

Ok let’s keep this simple:

You cannot negotiate with some asshole who is BBQ’ing his own military hierarchy with a flame thrower. So here is what you do.

1) You sink all their submarines. Their submarines are hunks of junk, which give off loud acoustics since their engines don’t run smoothly. This is cool, since the NK media won’t have to notify the public, since they won’t want to look weak.

2) You could then approach their leadership with a wink and suggest “Wanna talk now??’
Why do that though, when you could instead choose option three.

3) Bribe the North Korean leadership with pre-loaded cyrpto-currency wallets to turn Kim-Yong-Whats-His-Fuck into fishfood, while they get sanctuary and diplomatic immunity to flee afterwards.

4) Replace Fat Face with a couple of look-alike dummies who follow US instructions to the T. Pay them all very well with cryptos. Do not let the public of NK or United States know that Pyongyang has been sacked internally. Rather:

5) Send the Soviets in to secure the command and control structure of the ICBM’s and the (ironically named) long-range No Dong missiles. What do the Soviets get in return? Eased sanctions and a second meeting with President Trump.

6) Have the new NK leadership reassure the public that all is well, with the Soviets behind them to make them feel safe. The US now proceeds to airlift massive food-drops to the peasantry, especially in the country-sides, along with pro-US propaganda, such as quality ganster rap albums about comin’ up big-time. Inspire them to understand the wonders of a pure capitalist system! Why sell rice, when there’s more money to be made selling ho’s and gats??? Look for higher profit margins!

The best thing about this plan is that it could already have happened and not one of you would even know that it has occurred already.

Problem Solved.

Author: Lord Beardschlimmer Wilhelm Bartholomew III

Leading the charge against societal decay!