Men’s Rights

 

1. No person shall make men lift heavy objects while women stand by commanding them without helping.

2. No man shall be made to pay for babies they did not agree for the woman to have.

3. No man shall be forced to listen to Dave Mathews band in any public place, at any time.

4. No business shall discriminate against hiring men because of facial hair, since that is a sexist principle.

5. Women shall pay their exact share of the bill and percentage of tip (as proportional to their order).

6. Men who are physically attacked by women will be taken seriously by authorities, and women will be charged accordingly.

7. Sexist comments against men in the workplace will be considered sexual harassment, and men will be paid through cases of beer (after arbitration).

8. Any woman who wishes to see the latest romantic comedy shall pay for both the tickets, and the refreshments, as well as any additional fees incurred by the male, including any subsequent parking tickets or DUI’s.

9. The government shall charge and prosecute razor blade companies with anti-trust violations, since they have conspired in causing razor prices to be unbearable.

10. Valentine’s Day shall be abolished, since it violates the Equal Protection clause and 13th Amendments of the Constitution.

Author: Col. Wilhelm Bartholomew III

Leading the charge against societal decay!