The blog you are now reading (still) may never be as popular as many other Men’s Rights blogs simply because it does not tell you that you are a victim.
There is nothing less masculine than deciding to consider yourself a victim. By doing so, you place your fate in the hands of others — at least, you take it from your own hands.
Masculinity is the principle of forward motion: vir being the root of the Latin word for man, it means the principle of men, which is warlike aggression to fix problems and establish a moral self, family and society.
Vir is what propels people to get off their lazy butts and set aside seed for next year, to plant crops and cut rocks from the earth, to chop down trees and grind their stumps, to build vast architectures, to wage war against disease, filth and cowardice. Vir is what defines men.
You give that up when you say, “Man, I really wanted to be big, but life screwed me out of it.” You’ve just told yourself that you cannot do what you want to do, and it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It feels good at first. Why? You probably have a legitimate reason for complaint; for example, family court judges may be biased against men. But it’s deeper than that.
Being a victim lets you off the hook for having to fix the issue and move forward. It makes you feel OK about self-pity, and about telling yourself that it’s not your fault, but someone else’s.
It gives you someone to blame and lets you claim that person holds you prisoner and oppresses you, thus all those dreams remain on paper and never realized.
Hilariously, the entire Men’s Rights Movement seems to want to emulate feminism and with it, the principle of victimhood. It’s like a group of men deciding to cut their balls off and cry with each other.
Your grievances are legitimate; your methods — well, let’s just say that emulating a failed movement like feminism is not the brightest of ideas. It’s emotionally comforting. But do you really need a teddy bear?
Victimhood is the one great ill of our modern society. Because we give preference to victims, everyone wants to be a victim. That means no one takes responsibility for fixing problems. Vir is in short supply.
If there is a true masculinist movement, it will be one that rejects all thoughts of victimhood and instead demands not equality but parity, or a necessary role for masculinity in the universe.
It won’t be popular with those who have already decided to give up, however.
[...] GROIN: Hilariously, the entire Men’s Rights Movement seems to want to emulate feminism and with it, the [...]
[...] up the Andrea Dworkin wing of the men’s rights movement, who comprise the extreme end of the MRA victimology spectrum – low-caste “men” who believe themselves to be utterly powerless and unable to [...]
Hi there
I am an MRA who defines himself as a victim. In short, I was the victim of a false rape accusation. It wasn’t my fault (ie: false) because I hadn’t done anything wrong. I don’t believe that this ‘victim status’ is something that absolves me from fixing the problem. Far from running away, absolved from the responsibility of fixing it, I have made it the entire focus of my life to try and help fix the problem so that no other men are faced with the same problem. Contrary to your article, being a victim is what gave me the impetus to try to propagate change…
Is this vir?
I don’t think calling feminism a failed movement is quite correct. Look at what they have achieved. Perhaps your standards of what constitutes success are different to mine. Unfortunately, the emulation of feminism is still some distance away for MRAs, and having the victim card is a necessary evil for fighting. Think how many talent show winners got the sympathy vote because their ‘grandma just died’ or something similar. As unfortunate as it is, sympathy for our movement is something we desperately need from the general public, and most of all women.
I personally have never cared for sympathy, as I’m sure you too never have. I would rather people learn from my bad experience.
[...] trend, which is why I refuse to identify as a conservative. Victimhood is a cop out, a bitch move, the province of weaklings and failures. I will not associate with anyone who considers being a victim an integral part of their identity, [...]