Christmas Slavery

Besides having to spend weeks on end finding the perfect gift for everyone, only to have them re-gift or sell most of the items, Americans wind up putting themselves into debt for 3-6 months afterwards.

This virtual grab-bag is an inefficient use of the economy, and leaves the average person saddled with over a grand in extra debt per annum. The cycle of waste continues unabated. But if you don’t do some gifts and celebrate a bit, you won’t have many friends in the end. So Christmas slavery is another inevitable feature of the American economy.

The best thing would be if everyone just bought each other fine spirits for the holidays, and got together to be drunk and merry. Instead, people mindlessly click on item after item on Amazon, working the poor UPS truck drivers to death – over and over. You wind up getting 20 sweaters a year, while living in a warm climate. Bottle after bottle of cologne , so much to where you could never use it. You get a gift card, and you get them a gift card. On and on this process goes in a circle. And its time consuming and tiring not just to shop and guess the right gift for everyone. But the boxes that come in the mail must be broken down , which is time-consuming, and made to fit into already over-flowing suburban recycling bins. The whole process is an exercise in hubris.

Author: Lord Beardschlimmer Wilhelm Bartholomew III

Leading the charge against societal decay!