War Dogs Annihilate Kubo

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“War Dogs” is an extremely well done dark comedy based on fact about two losers who somehow become successful international arms dealers. Jonah Hill and Miles Teller give two of their best performances by making these two asses relatable and somewhat sympathetic. As they get in over their heads so does the audience, as people who may have expected a “Hangover”-style comedy instead get a piercing critique of American capitalism. One of the film’s most interesting aspect is the use of title cards to indicate what is going to happen next; it actually creates suspense rather than lessening it. A lesson learned from the film is not to ever tell your wife what you’re really up to because she doesn’t really want to know and wouldn’t understand. The movie represents a big improvement on the similar “Lord of War” with Nicolas Cage and is superior entertainment.

However, “War Dogs” is apparently not what people want to see, judging by the empty theatre. No, they want to see “Kubo and the Two Strings,” the new stop-motion animated film. In fact, due to good reviews, I did too, so I sat down in a packed house and waited for the film to start. Let me get the positives out of the way: this movie is extremely well animated and scored, and creates a fairly interesting fantasy world. What’s the problem, then? The story sucks. It doesn’t make much sense, with lots of talk about how Kubo is the chosen one and weird emphasis on blindness as a plot device and heroic monkeys and beetles or something and a happy ending that’s not really happy. I hated “Finding Dory” but at least I could follow it. I was lost within 20 minutes of “Kubo.” Nevertheless, the audience loved it; there was laughter throughout and applause at the end.

Lesson learned: audiences prefer mindless pap over anything piercing and real. We will probably get a zillion Harry Potter clones over the next few years and hardly anything related to real life. Capitalism sure is great, isn’t it? –CoolAC


Nymphenomenal: On Anal


Sex through the back door has a reputation for being one-sided: fun for men penetrating, but not for women penetrated. This misconception comes from women who have had bad anal sex experiences, most likely from her man: pressuring her into it, not using enough lube on her, and not going slow enough to minimize her pain while maximizing her pleasure. For anal sex to be good, you both have to want it, be prepared, and trust the penetrator to be careful with your anus to avoid pain, injury, and infection.


Pros of anal sex: better for smaller penises, tighter than a vagina, edge of anus full of sensitive nerve endings, different feel than the vagina, women and men both have anuses, and he can cum inside her without the risk of pregnancy.

Cons of anal sex: may be more uncomfortable than pleasurable, can cause rectal tears and bleeding, can still get STDs (same ones as vaginal sex, plus anal warts and anal cancer), and can also get fecal germs, infections, diarrhea, and bloody stools.

Prep days before:

Men planning to have penetrative sex should: keep up their cardio (like running) to build stamina, keep hydrated (drink water instead of alcohol) to get it up and finish, and refrain from masturbating (in the days before sex) to prevent wearing out and desensitizing the penis.

Women planning to be penetrated anally should: stay hydrated and eat plenty of fiber (like fruits and vegetables) for healthy regular bowel movements (anywhere from every 3 days to 3 times a day), not hold in her poop (to avoid constipation), and not strain when pooping (to avoid causing fissures or small tears in her colon, as well as pushing her colon out).

Ready to start when:

Men should provide: towels (a large one to have sex on, and a small one to wipe away sweat), condoms (same type but use separate ones for anal and vaginal), baby wipes (to clean up his penis and balls), and lube (plenty of it, with a lube shooter/launcher if possible). If no lube, make sure his saliva isn’t contaminated, by cleaning his mouth of sugar and spicy residue, and keep hydrated (drink water).

Women: should not be currently feeling the urge to poop (can have just pooped), so the anal canal should be clear (poop is stored further up the colon, though fecal bacteria are still present throughout). She should have a clean outer butt (just showered, or wiped to the rim clean with water), but can do an enema (if she’s feeling self-conscious about her poop residue, or if he also plans to rim her with his tongue). Like the vagina, no hair waxing is necessary. She should not have any anal bleeding or spotting when she’s about to start anal sex.

General arousal and vagina first:

The woman should be very aroused and relaxed when she’s penetrated. So it helps to start with foreplay, stimulating her clitoris, and entering her vagina to build her up. When she’s ready, then he can start entering her anus.

Warning: just like only wiping your genitals from front to back, you can only go from vagina to anus (never anus to vagina)! Don’t let any finger, sex toy, condom, or penis that has been in the anus enter or even touch the vagina again without first being washed (with warm water and soap) and sanitized (disinfecting sex toys in boiling water). This is because even if you don’t see any poop residue, the anus is full of germs and bacteria that can wreck havoc in the vagina, causing vaginal and urinary tract infections. Rectal bacteria can also infect the inserted penis (through the open tip, or weakened skin), so it’s better to wear a condom (even if you’re monogamous without STDs). It’s best to try anal sex at the end before cleaning up after sex, but if he really wants to reenter the vagina, first wipe the sex toy or penis and balls thoroughly with baby wipes, then put on a new condom, before reentering her vagina.

Anal tease:

Her man should start by teasing the edge of her anus, which is full of sensitive nerve endings and where the erotic sensation is. He can even try licking and tonguing the rim, called rimming.

She should try to relax her anal sphincter, which is the round muscle at the edge of the anus. It tightens to hold in poop, and needs to be relaxed to open. Relax like she’s going to poop, but without pushing out any poop (don’t worry, no poop should come out). She doesn’t want to loosen her anal sphincter by getting penetrated when it’s closed tight, which could be painful and difficult. If it feels loose, she can strengthen it with Kegel exercises (which strengthen pelvic floor muscles, and also help with urinary incontinence and childbirth recovery). She should also consider the girth size of her poop logs. That’s the size her anal sphincter comfortably stretches to. If her man’s penis has more girth size, she may want to practice with fingers and anal toys (like butt plugs) to work up to his size.

Use plenty of lube:

Unlike the vagina, the anal canal has fragile walls and lacks natural lubrication, making it very susceptible to tearing and infections. Thicker water-based lubes (like KY Jelly or Durex) are best, as they: don’t dry out as quickly, work well with condoms, and clean up easily. Oil-based lubes (like Vaseline or Crisco) are less good, as they: weaken latex condoms, and are harder to wash off afterwards. Saliva is a last resort (say, if you run out of lube), as it: isn’t as slippery, dries out quickly, and can cause irritation if contaminated by certain foods. Saliva itself is totally safe (assuming you don’t have STDs), especially if you just brushed your teeth and used mouthwash. However, if he just ate or drank sugary stuff, his saliva in her vagina can increase her likelihood of getting a yeast infection. And if he just ate spicy food, his saliva in her anus can cause a slight burning sensation for her anus and for his inserted penis.

Whatever you choose, make sure her anus is well-lubricated. Before penetration, you can slowly squirt lube in (with a lube shooter/launcher), to pre-coat her anal canal. At the least, lube anything before its insertion, to help it glide in.

Check out my next upcoming column, which will cover: Anal entry by fingering | Anal sex positions for penile insertion | Anal technique, pumping, and sensation | Cleanup



Whiskey Milf on Lord Calvert

Lord Calvert Canadian Whiskey 80 proof $20-
With my first glass of this Canadian whiskey I was brimming with anticipation. It lit a spark in my mouth, as its caramel-inspired flavor was quite delightful. It was tasty whether I drank it straight up or with a dash of cola. So I invited some friends over to share the bottle with me, and they enjoyed it as well. It put them in the mood for socializing. Pretty good whiskey for the price. Not too spicy either, but rather smooth, consistent aftertaste. Very suitable for social drinking. – Whiskey Milflord

Real Men Read Classics

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With the explosion of male-thug icon as the symbol of the modern look, one might think its necessary to watch the NFL and listen to gangster rap in order to be hard and masculine. That notion would be quite mistaken though. There is actually stuff way manlier and way more intellectual than modern masculinity if we look to the classics. And the truth is that real men read classics.

Mark Twain once said that, “a classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.” However, here are some classics that are written in a balls out style that is captivating, and which are still relevant (after many years):

Lysistrata by Aristophanes

Basically the women in ancient Greece decide to hold out the pussy from these ancient Greek warriors. This is because their dudes are always out on foreign conquest for glory and treasure, while their babes are stuck at home cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and so-forth. This is a most un-righteous situation. While the younger women hold out the P , the older women take control of the Treasury, and the guys wind up double- screwed because they get diseases from not having clean laundry.

It gets funny as the men retaliate by letting the garbage pile up and by making the women do the heavy stuff (like fetching water from the well). Also the women are doing lots of teasing and stuff of the men (sexually) but then holding out. There’s lots of crude ancient raunchy sex jokes through-out this ancient Greek play. Plus its not overly long. This book exemplifies the underpinnings of the feminist movement, but does so in a way that is subversive and funny. ‘Know thy enemy’ is an axiom that most men would do well to remember. And it is also advantageous to be somewhat intellectual while in pursuit of the female species, since it is a quality which adds mystique, and that women find appealing.

The Snows of Kilimanjaro by Ernest Hemingway

This is another book I read recently, which is a collection of short stories. I was really taken back by how much testosterone is in it . The short story the book is named after is really raw and brutal. Its tough and mean, like the state of nature. The main character’s truck breaks down. Then he faces a blizzard and a leg infection. Then finally, hyenas come for him.

The other stories in that collection are equally relevant to men in their own respective ways. ‘Fathers and Sons’ is a touching short piece about a father and son confronting the reality of their own mortality. ‘The Killers’, about an existential hit-man who is supposed to kill a boxer. As a footnote one version of that (which was filmed) added in a crime boss character, and Ronald Reagan was cast. ‘Fifty Grand’, about a boxer making a big, shady bet on himself on his last fight before retirement. He gets double-crossed, yet prevails. These stories are all written with a poetic iconic Americana-laced grit and simplicity to them -which is absent from much of today’s authors. Men would do well to become more familiar with the classics, in order to help restore balance in the battle of the sexes.

Its time to burn all the Twilight books in a large pyre, and hoist up more robust and manly books like Hemingway back to their proper place in the social order. – Steve C.

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Ben-Hur Slays Pete’s Dragon

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If you avoid one kids’ film this year, make it “Pete’s Dragon.” For some reason, I thought this film would be entertaining; I even got the 3D glasses for it. What did I get for my faith in this film? A phony-looking E.T. dragon and Robert Redford, looking about 80, telling stories to 7-year olds. It is a mystery to me why this film received good reviews. After about 20 minutes, I stormed out of the cinema and got a full refund. I NEVER do that, but then again, this film is boring sludge masquerading as quality entertainment.

On the other hand, the new “Ben-Hur” is a rather good remake of the Charlton Heston classic. I rather liked the mix of bloody action and Christian themes, and cutting back on the gay subtext from the classic film resulted in a much shorter movie. In addition, I liked Morgan Freeman’s performance and the slave galleon and chariot race sequence are really well done. Also, the script is surprisingly good, with a strong focus on characterization. Ok, it’s not the greatest film ever, but I liked it. You could do a lot worse. Somehow this film managed to flop and lose $120 million: http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/ben-hur-faces-120m-loss-925302 –CoolAC



Whiskey Milf Inaugural Review

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Kessler American Blended Whiskey 80 proof $7.99

This Familiar blend of whiskey is guaranteed to kick up a party with a smooth taste of buttery caramel. I know this brand well, since I first tried this brand when I was just 16. So I know what I am talking about. This stuff gives a good buzz with a good vibe. Enjoy it with a friend. Don’t drink it by yourself like some kind of recluse. I highly recommend this fine spirit. – The Whiskey Milf


How To Get A Female To Orgasm

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How To Get A Female To Orgasm

If your exposure to female sexuality is limited primarily to pornography, you might get the impression that women just need to touch a big hard dick to get aroused to orgasm. But we all know in reality that most women are much more complicated than that.

Compared to women, most guys are pretty straightforward. They see a sexy body, they quickly get horny, their dick gets erect, they pump their dick, and they orgasm with a squirt of cum. That’s the usual pattern when they masturbate or have sex. Their main goal is to orgasm, and their secondary goal is to get their partner to orgasm.

Women, on the other hand, don’t really fit a single pattern. Some arouse quickly from touching a sexy body, while others arouse slowly from building an emotional connection over a deep conversation. Some women are always horny and wet, while others seem to never be in the mood. They may prefer deep vaginal or anal penetration, firm oral or clitoral stimulation, or just a tight hug and slow full body massage. They may hope for multiple orgasms or expect none at all. So when a guy initiates sex with a new woman, how does he get her to orgasm?

First of all, realize that although women like to orgasm as much as men do, many women have difficulty reaching it, and some just don’t orgasm. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try anyways, because she still might orgasm, and at least she’d enjoy your seduction. If she doesn’t orgasm, don’t take it personally as a failure, because it may be nobody’s fault, and that will totally ruin the mood.

Unlike the male orgasm process which is mostly visual and physical, the female orgasm process is more mental than physical. In a penis-in-vagina scenario, the guy will feel good mostly from the physical act, but the woman will only feel good if she’s in the mood. Try to put her in the mood by making her feel sexy and desired. Tell her you want her now, but you can wait until she’s ready. That way you tempt her without pressuring her, so she feels safe and in control. Also try to make her feel respected, relaxed, comfortable, and warm. Skin contact is very telling. If she avoids your touch, she doesn’t want to have sex with you. If she likes it and wants more, you should keep pushing the boundaries until she stops enjoying it or tells you to stop there for now. Take full advantage of foreplay to get her aroused and wet for you

When you start having sex, ask her what she likes and wants from you. Even if it’s weird, don’t mock her, and try to deliver. She may be able to build an orgasm only in a certain way, be it: a specific sex position, prolonged amount of pressure or motion, simultaneous stimulation of various parts, having rough or kinky sex, or using vibrators or toys. Most women also need to visualize horny thoughts, which could be aided with dirty talk, acting out scenes, and props, or just hearing your heavy breathing and wordless moaning. If she doesn’t state any preferences, take control and proceed with how you want to have sex with her, and switch out anything she dislikes to something else she might enjoy.

Try to help her reach orgasm before you do, as she might need your dick to be erect, though she might not need it at all. Try to last as long as possible, in order to pleasure her, not just so you can brag about your stamina. If she orgasms, keep trying to give her more orgasms. If she doesn’t orgasm, keep trying to help her until you’re too tired. If you orgasm first, or your dick goes limp, keep trying to build up her orgasm by stimulating the parts she’s focusing on. You may need to replace your penis with your hands to apply pressure to her clitoris and your fingers to throb her vagina. There’s no excuse for you to stop until she’s had enough or you pass out from trying. After sex, most women enjoy cuddling or being spooned until they fall asleep in your arms. This is important for building that connection so when she wakes up she’ll want to have sex with you again.

Most importantly, keep in mind that women have a different goal than men when it comes to sex. Her goal is for you both to enjoy the experience—both the physical sensation (having sex) and the emotional connection (being in the mood, being intimate together, you trying your best to pleasure her)—which hopefully lead to orgasm but often don’t. In the end, it’s more important that she felt sexually pleasured the way she wanted you to than for her to have simply orgasmed. And making her happy increases your odds for having sex with her again.


Rise of the Sexbots


Story by Saint Reggie/ Sketch by Nate Erickson

In the dusty early morning of a future, distantly familiar earth a barren fortress of steel and dense plexi-glass surrounded on all sides by barbed wire electrified fence. The sign on the front reads Echelon Agency.
We show a montage of the fortress, a look at a kennel with sexbots recharging, and view of a living barracks where the grimy men who dig holes laboring for the bot.gov. The visual introduction is overdubbed with a female narrator, maybe English who says:
The year is 2046. Plague has rubbed out blah blah.
From out of the desert a nomadic man approaches the fortress gate on a futuristic scooter. He is blocked at the computerized control panel by a burly motorcycle gang member named Sludge. Sludge is wearing a headset and radios in.

Scene 1 (Click to read more.)

BDSM Corner

bad1Hello and welcome to Badde (Bad) BDSM. My name is Badde (Bad) and this is a look into my journey into the world of BDSM/LEATHER. First may I start by stating by no means do I claim to be an authority , doctor , or expert in BDSM , LEATHER , OR ANY SIMILAR NATURE. This is merely my journey , and experiences thus far. Take them for what they are and nothing more please. I ask that we all have a positive attitude and if and when addressing each other or topics please do so politely. Helpful criticism not telling somebody they are wrong or making anybody feel bad. BDSM is a tribe . We are tribal members . We should behave as so and lift up the pack not knock anybody down. I will post a list of rules shortly. I stumbled upon BDSM roughly 7 years ago 2009 . I had finally escaped a severely abusive ( physical , emotional mentally and financially )relationship. I am 43 and have a young adult son . I live in the bay area and with the help of BDSM and MASTER SCORPIO SF I now live a happy life. MASTER SCORPIO SF is a name you will see a lot. I will dive into that at a later time. I have had the honor of witnessing so many beautiful and scary things in this short time . In order to fully explain them all I’ve broke down the first half of my journey into a few parts. 1. my philosophy on BDSM/LEATHER 2. MASTER SCORPIO 3. the rules of BDSM 4. online BDSM 5. cathartis and my awaking through Disciple 6. BDSM and public events. once again I am not an authority nor a expert in BDSM LEATHER OR ANY SIMILAR NATURE. Thank you and be well. –xxxxbaddexxxx