2159 – Finale

The vast metal army was now in possession of the digital layout of the university, thanks to Shirley having prostituted herself as a spy for the cause. Also, it had become apparent that the leftist state in Panama was failing, since nothing was being produced now that people had a ‘guaranteed income’.  While the leader was busy having slaves build gold pyramids, and a replica of Sea World San Diego, basic supplies of oil and toilet paper had dried up. Morale was low there. It was time for the blitzkrieg.

Daryl and his headhunting band mates manned the front lines, and he led the charge in his three wheel bicycle, while slinging arrows at the ID post guards, who soon abandoned their posts. After they were struck with arrows he jumped from the bicycle and applied a front guillotine choke to finish off one guard, and then a did a judo hip throw and trachea stomped the other guard to death. The mere sight of his bandmates with the decapitated head waistbands was enough to send some of the other Swiss mercenary guards fleeing. Seeing the front gate vulnerable, the giant metal army became bloodthirsty, descending upon the university from the hills above.

At the same time, a mini revolt occurred over the lack of toilet paper, in the stall. The stylish, however misguided, leftists there took up crude home-made iron weapons. They thought: ” OK who knows?”

The hard thing is lets not piss everyone off all at once , right??  After all , it is important to overthrow their masters, while not being overly offensive at the same time. Very challenging! Yet another problem However, was that the tasers that Pablo the Great had implanted in their spines was activated, and they were quickly fed to the cloned killer whales at the mock Sea World facility. Animal activists rejoiced.

A large battalion of brainwashed fascists appeared dressed in all black, with shields and helmets. They confront Daryl and his band. The metal army stormed in in great numbers, quickly beheading all the students and adding them to their belts. Pablo the Great was falling back on his elite inner guard. The Mercs feared they wouldn’t get paid after the fall, and began to abandon ship. The ogre king used the blueprint to target them. He began shelling the dictator’s quarters from above with the bloodbog cannon. Bloodbog reacted similarly to lava in regards to leftists, slowly melting and mutilating its victims into a pile of bleeding ooze.

Next to the school’s rec. hall, howitzer guns were being fired back towards the metal forces, pinning them down temporarily. Suddenly, the ravens of the undead swooped down and snatched up the gunners, biting out whole bloody chunks, while flying off.

Emboldened, the metal army came up the elite sex workers lair. “Lets kill them all”, said a band-member.

“No. Lets enslave them,” Daryl said, “But kill all the trannies, we’ll sell off their organs.”

“No! They’re OK,” came an anonymous cry. “The women these days are even more of a pain in the ass than ever. We may need them!”

“Well, if you insist, lets just enslave the trannies too then,” Daryl obliged.

“No! Let’s try CAPITALISM.” chimed in a voice of reason.

Approaching the dictator’s personal quarters they found he had escaped down a hatch, on an underground tram, headed to his replica Sea World.

Daryl and his bandmems jumped on and headed down the dark chute. Cowering and cornered, Pablo the great held a grenade beside the head of the last blue whale in the world.  Daryl could see that Pablo’s facial scar matched the tracer of his beloved pigeon’s IED. He was pissed.

“Behold!” exclaimed Pablo “The Last of the Great Blue Whales in the entire universe. You wouldn’t dare kill me and risk the future of the global ecosystem. We are all in this together. It is one world. One big tropical paradise. Let’s work together! I can share my kingdom with you, share my power. What do you say?”

Daryl shot Pablo the Great through the heart with an arrow, and a bandmember swiftly decapitated him. Pablo’s body fell into the chlorine pool, but his trigger finger pulled the plug on the grenade. The last blue whale in the whole world turned into a pile of aqua green and teal oozing pus.

“Don’t worry, we can clone another one someday,” Daryl offered with glee.

In the end, Daryl and his bandmates in Heinous Wench Excoriation finally were able to have enough electricity to begin regularly practicing and performing. The ogre king and his vast army were able to begin a system of barter and trade, as well as to reinvigorate the fine arts, by having two stages from 7am in the through the day and evening until about 3am, every day. On one stage there was grind2159core, and the other was classic styled death metal.   

by Steve

Author: Lord Beardschlimmer Wilhelm Bartholomew III

Leading the charge against societal decay!