Bitcoin Strip Clubs

Strip clubs are starting to accept Bitcoin as payment, some even giving 20% off if you use it:

The overall idea is meant to protect anonymity while at the gentleman’s club. The girls quoted in the piece enjoy being paid in Cryptos and suggest that it is the wave of the future.

In ancient Rome, gold was forbidden from being given to hookers, so they were broken into mini tokens. This is reminiscent of that.

Why Men Prefer Sexbots

Many are wrong about the reason men are beginning to prefer sexbots to women. It is not because ‘porn has warped their minds’, as is recently being reported:

It is because women are becoming too dominant. They want to argue, and pick all the places to go, and things to do in a relationship, as well as in the bedroom. Sexbots, by contrast, function as the more traditional submissive or obedient female, like in the 1950’s. The only thing we need to do is get them to cook.

The other reasons men prefer sexbots are obvious. Sexbots do not get pregnant, divorce you (which is expensive), cause problems with false domestic disturbance complaints, or cause child custody battles. They also do not ask for fancy, over-expensive vacations, complain about you not having spent enough times with her relatives, say you never take her anywhere, or say that you are just using her for sex, since that’s obvious.

Early William Gibson Book, a Must Read

This early William Gibson neopunk classic is a whirlwind of technology and violence. Most of the storyline is enacted through character dialogue, complete with shotgun in hand. Many of the characters have bio-implants for datachips, so they can hold more memory, like in Johnny Neumonic. They fly around in hover-crafts and scrap over intellectual property at the corporate level. The plot revolves around a girl who can connect to the cyberspace maxtrix, without using any hardware, only using her own mind and body. Meanwhile corporate bounty hunters, such as Kid Africa, are hunting her down, since she controls the future. Japanese yakuza are also on the hunt. This was an early novel from Gibson. It is such a quick read that I must read it again, since the pace was so fast. The book was far ahead of its time, in terms of discussing the matrix and multiple dimensions (which the ending revolves around).

Player One : Are You Ready?

Recently I picked up the novel “Ready Player One” by Ernest Cline because the Steven Spielberg film comes out March 29. The ad didn’t look that promising but I wanted to see if the book was any good. So how is it? It’s interesting. It’s a mixture of the teen dystopian science fiction that’s so popular right now and a far more interesting postmodernism which I haven’t seen in literature recently. It’s about a future where Earth is a shithole so everyone spends all their time on the OASIS, a high-speed virtual reality internet wonderland where you can lose yourself in gaming and movies. and chat rooms. The founder of the OASIS, a reclusive billionaire, dies and leaves his fortune to whoever is smart enough and a good enough gamer to win. In order to win, you have to be a pop-culture genius and retro video-game expert. A group of five teen gamers and film buffs must get to the Golden Egg before the villainous Sixers do, or virtual reality will be forever doomed.

This book’s greatest attributes are its armada of pop-culture references and pop culture jokes. From Delorians to Johnny Five, Max Headroom to “Blade Runner,” 80’s pop culture is constantly referenced and joked about. This could lead to some very interesting filmmaking if Spielberg has the satirical chops. What’s not so good are the geeky characters, the predictable plot, and the unnecessary infusion of politically correct messages. For example, we are supposed to believe that a 168-pound girl is hot. Sorry, Homey don’t play that… also, another girl has gender issues. Not to be mean, but I don’t care about that. Eventually, the paper-thin characters and annoying “positive” messages wore me out and the book took too long to finish.

Will the movie be any good? Spielberg’s a genius but he may not be good enough at comedy to pull this off, as evidenced by his super-mediocre flick “1941.” Also, audiences may be tired of the whole teem dystopia thing. However, the film has buzz of perhaps being a real special FX breakthrough. If it’s better than “The Matrix” FX and imaginative enough, maybe it’ll be a surprise success. We here at GROIN are planning to post a review of this film on opening weekend, and here’s hoping it’s amazing!

Mueller Indicts 13 Ham Sandwiches

There is an old saying that anyone can indict a ham sandwich. This week Special Counsel Robert Mueller indicted 13 “Russians” for trolling the internet against Hilary, starting in 2014. Unfortunately, the people he wishes to bring to justice mostly live in Russia. This includes Putin’s so-called ‘Pool Man’, a political buddy who does his dirty work. Mueller knows Russia does not extradite to the US. Therefor this indictment is a joke. It also takes a shit on the first Amendment right to free speech. And it attempts to deprive internationals from being able to post about US affairs, through Facebook. Meanwhile, the US actively overthrows governments constantly, and meddles in elections – such as the previous Israeli election. Another fact, is that scores of Mexican, as well as dual-Israeli citizens were very active during the campaign in organizing labor and student movements to effect the election results. However, such groups favor the left, not the right. Therefor they are given a total pass.

This two tiered system of justice shall not stand! The right pays taxes too. We are tired of having the deck stacked against us in the government, and will continue to win the elections every two years, in order to flush the leftist corruption from the system.

Dark Age Rules

Did you ever worry about getting eaten by giant crocodiles? I remember one time as a youngin’ in Florida, we rented a paddleboat. Immediately we were surrounded by alligators. Still don’t know why they rented those paddleboats there. Too dangerous…

This movie really appealed to me when I saw the box. It’s my life story:


Ready for an excellent crocodile movie with the star of “Wolf Creek”? Sink your teeth into “Dark Age,” the best crocodile-on-a-rampage movie that I’ve ever seen!  This 1987 movie is about a crocodile hunter (played by John Jarratt of “Wolf Creek”) who has a daunting assignment: capture and neutralize a 25-foot saltwater  crocodile who’s been wreaking havoc in Australia.  There’s an added kink: he must not offend the local Aborigine population, who believes that the crocodile is a reflection of their spirit.

Why is this direct-to-video film so good?  At Groin, we always give Australian B movies (from back in the day) the highest marks! First of all, it has great atmosphere: you really feel like you’re in the outback,  Secondly, the crocodile seems both real and like a real threat.  Thirdly, John Jarratt makes for a great hero, tough and resourceful.  Finally, the ending, which I won’t give away, is pretty surprising.  This film is so much better than the crap we see in theatres today!  We need a good Blu-ray release of it soon!  And, for what it’s worth, apparently Quentin Tarantino loves this film.  Look for “Dark Age” on VHS on Amazon and EBay. It’ll scare you silly!

Steel Dawn is the Future

You know, after watching that crappy new western “Hostiles” with Christian Bale, it got me thinking how much better the average movie was circa 1987-1988. And it got me thinking even more about how awesome Patrick Swayze’s too-little seen sci-fi western “Steel Dawn” is. A direct, complete rip-off of “Shane” and a precursor to 1998’s “Soldier” with Kurt Russell, “Steel Dawn” takes place in a post-apocalypse future where life isn’t worth squat, at least until Swayze materializes as a Mad Max type who (with his buddy Brion James) must protect young widow Lisa Niemi (who became his wife) and her young son (who resembles Annakin Skywalker in “The Phantom Menace”) from evil Anthony Zerbe (always great in movies like this). Swayze’s path to salvation involves many one-on-one battles, souped-up futuristic vehicles and props, and an unconsummated (at least on-screen) romance. Besides Swayze, James, and Zerbe, the film is notable for music by Brian May (“The Road Warrior”) and direction by Lance Hool (“Missing in Action 2: The Beginning.”)


Let’s face it. The world is heading downhill. Many countries are failing. Whether it is North Korea, Syria, or Venezuela people are starving and fighting over food, and other scarce resources. Greece and other countries are next. Someday it will be the USA where people fight in the streets for scraps. Even countries that are rich in natural resources, such as Venezuela cannot get their oil industry up and running, due to leftist hubris. Libya, South Africa, and many African nations are nothing short of anarchy. Welcome to the new dawn of mankind.

Why do I like “Steel Dawn” so much more than the critically acclaimed flop “Hostiles”? Because it knows what kind of movie it wants to be. And it warns us about our abysmal future. Unlike Bale, Swayze never has to think or do any actual acting; he just kicks ass and takes names! “Steel Dawn” doesn’t have a thought in its head, but it’s a terrific low-budget action spectacular sorely in need of a Blu-ray release. If you can find a copy of this on VHS (or DVD if you’re a snob), so it, and thank me later! And by the way, for his roles in this film, “Uncommon Valor,” “Red Dawn,” “Next of Kin,” “Road House,” and “Point Break,” we are inducting the late and sorely missed Swayze into the Hall of Fame! Hopefully this bad-ass mofo is laughing his ass off in heaven! Until next time…

Bra Banditas

What a crime against humanity There is an outbreak of bra-stealing in Salinas and possibly Monterey, according to the Salinas Californian. Three women stole 300 bras from Victoria’s Secret at Northridge Mall. The bras are worth more than $17,000. That’s over $50 a bra! We here at want to inform women that they don’t need to wear bras. In fact, as far as we’re concerned, women don’t need to wear clothes at all! There was similar bra-stealing recently in Monterey, probably by the same women. If you know anything, don’t call us!

Anyhow, what hubris! Women wasting hundreds of bucks on these over-priced undergarments, because they are being sold a consumer image. Then these lazy thieves come along and fight back, by stealing from their corporate masters. Oh the irony! You would never see a guy caught dead trying to steal 10k worth of tighty whiteys. We have the decency to pay for our drawls. Maybe women should start paying for their underwear before they start complaining about how society doesn’t treat them fairly.

Bring them to justice!

Attilah Chaos : A Decent But Trendy Album

Am checking out this Attilah album from the future, circa 2017. I guess this is the kind of thing where you see the shirt at Hot Topic and then buy the tape. Then you take the tape home and fuck the shit out of your girlfriend or sexbot to it. Alas! Those fond memories of banging her to the first White Zombie album. Well flash forward. This album is a lot like that. After that you loan it to a friend, and they never give it back, like what happens with an old VHS porno. Is this album so fleeting of a guilty pleasure?

The first song is enjoyable, however immediately recognizable as a Korn spin-off. The second tune is very disappointing, with a not so great guitar riff which is bar chords moving upwards linearly in a boring key. What is egregious are the Lincoln Park styled vocals on this tune. The third song, where the sing starts talking about being, “Sorry, so sorry,” is really quite wonderful. Didn’t Pee-Wee coin this phrase in the restaurant scene in Nice Dreams? In the future it appears to be a common response to a lot of social media PC snowflake stuff. People who get their feelings hurt easily and can’t stand crude or swear words. Or some red blooded American chauvinism (Smell The Glove).  Thankfully, the singer rants effectively against the future, a PC feminist paradise (matriarchy).

One thing that sucks about this band is that the detuned bass and guitar bar chords and percussive riffs are to polyphonic and not melodic enough too. There needs to be more separation both in tone and in the notes they are playing. Albums like this sound like the rhythm guitarist is just a bassist who bought a guitar, but didn’t really learn how to play it. With rhythm playing slightly playing dumbed down on purpose, the best thing about the album so far seems to be these couple of guitar solos that mildly resemble the melodic solos from Ride the Lightning. Another thing that’s cool is these abbreviated Yngwie-like sweeps. The drums being over processed works well for some of the songs, but a few underground drum timbres on a couple songs would have balanced it out more. Song four has a great intro riff by the way. It is like a modern update of Metallica’s One ending machine gun riff. Very effective though.

The rap styled vocals on the album are par for the course. The idea of having some low DM vocals on some parts is neat, however poorly executed.  Some of the songs seem almost danceable. Maybe this album is more intended for the female dub-step audience. Being fairly close to mainstream, perhaps a band such as this could help bring non metal listeners and help to convert them to metal. Then, at a later date, they can go to the store and trade in their Attilah tape for something better, like Séance. Grading this album from a DM perspective, one would be forced to grant this a C at this point. As a representation of mainstream metal, it will help to pull sheep from the herd, which we can then ritually slaughter (just kidding Metoo#! Jeez!) or (hopefully) convert to DM at a later date. This band can be DM’s useful idiot.

Intermission Rant: Metal needs more hot chicks at the shows in ‘Merica. Plenty of em in Czech etc already. Dubstep concerts are full of 10,00 college girls dancing in their underwear in groups. If Attilah can help switch Skrillex female following over to metal someday, then I will honestly have to commend them with like a bro high-five. However from a death metal perspective I would still be hard pressed to grant it a grade above average. It just goes to show, average students get al the chicks.

Back to the album. Song 5, Moshpit, is a standout as a hybrid between Bassnectar and say, Pantera. I’d say its rather slick. Presumably it would have a lot of energy with a live audience. It is also the song where his rap actually is impressive, as the rhythm and pacing picks up dramatically.  The lyrics are dumbed down for the masses. Within them lies an explosive energy nevertheless. What will these retards do with their energy? MOSH!!! (Hope you don’t chip a toothe in there…)

Moving through the center, meaty part of the album, the Panera influence starts to shine through. A lot of riffs , such as song 6 generally, take on either a chunky end of This Love bar chord type feel, or a Far Beyond Driven type of determination.  For that matter, this whole album is mixed kinda like Far Beyond , distortion wise. The album is starting to come up a notch. Can I forgive this album for that Lincoln Parkinsons-ish riff from earlier? Hmmm… And when is the Boss green Atilah guitar distortion pedal coming out?

Well, I could go on. But you probably hate this band already. This review is sure to inspire pink tranny rapist trolls throughout the land to go and do their thing. I give it a pass anyways. It is fairly listenable.

Bad Ronald is Good

One of the greatest TV horror films is called “Bad Ronald,” and it’s so good it reminds me of “Psycho.” It’s about a nerdy, creepy teen (played by Scott Jacoby) who, after accidentally killing a little girl, is instructed by his mother (Kim Hunter) to live in a secret room in their Victorian house. She dies and Dabney Coleman (then a brunette with a full head of hair) and his family move in. Ronald (the creepy teen murderer) must avoid detection by this new family by sneaking around for munchies while they’re asleep. He eventually causes a few more people to die and becomes fixated on the family’s young hot daughters,. He has an unhealthy obsession with fantasy, you see, and when life fails to live up to his fantasies, he gets mad. And deadly.

Why is this such a good TV horror film? Ronald is a genuinely interesting character. He’s nerdy and initially somewhat likeable, and we can see he didn’t have to turn out so badly. His mother’s well-meaning plan of hiding him ends up driving him mad. What’s interesting is how this 1974 film is able to imply so much while showing virtually nothing. We know Ronald’s a perv, for example, even though we never see it. By the extremely abrupt ending, we feel we have genuinely watched the descent of a young man into violence and psychosis. “Bad Ronald” is available on DVD through Warner Brothers Archive for about $15. Don’t miss it!